Written by Evi Idoghor, Creator of Letstalknationblog.com
Remember when you were in high school and chemistry was one of those annoying courses you had to take? that was one of my worse subjects. Looking back, I wonder why it was so hard for me. Okay in chemistry, in order for you to find out if a solution was acidic or basic, you carried out a litmus test where a red or blue litmus paper is inserted into a solution. If the blue litmus paper turned red during a test, then the solution was considered acidic. If a red litmus paper turned blue, then the solution was considered basic.
Today, I introduce a new test called The Titus 1 Test, although not used to test for alkalinity or acidity in chemistry as a course, it is going to be used as a barometer to evaluate your relationships or potential relationships, so you can decide for yourself if you should go ahead with an already budding relationship or kick it to the curb. I think it's worth the try, let's talk!
When I think about this life-long commitment called marriage, I sometimes freak out. I am always in my head about if I will end up with the right person, if the person would be honest and open from the get-go, or if the person will become someone else later. Thanks to certain stories I’ve been privy to, I’m now like “God are you sure we are even meant to get married in this lifetime?”
Men and women alike share their bizarre marriage stories from time to time, sometimes filled with regrets like, “I should have never married him” or "I curse the day I met her." Lately, I have been praying to God to give me the wisdom to choose the right person.
One day, while reading through Titus 1 in the Bible, I came across specific qualities a person who wants to become a bishop should possess. Now I am not saying we should all find ourselves bishops (If that’s your taste, kudos to you), but I found it very interesting and quickly realized that these are good qualities that Christian men, in general, should possess. I have decided to share below, 10 out of the 13 qualities which are listed in the Bible.
As Christian women, we want God's results when it comes to the men that we will one day marry, we want men who will cover us in prayer, love us unconditionally, and so on, I've always prayed for someone who will lead our home in all aspects, inclusive of the things of God, and love me the way Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5), but are we willing to take our time to find out if that potential person carries out the qualities God has called men to carry?
Before we jump into the next relationship, let’s evaluate The Titus 1 Test to find out if he has what it takes!
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1) He should be Blameless
A man that you are willing to make a lifelong commitment to should be blameless. He shouldn’t be entangled in any kind of scandal or fraud. He should be trustworthy at work, a sincere man, and a truthful man. Now, that doesn’t mean people don’t come with a past, but we should evaluate the person as whom they are now.
2) He should be a Steward of God
A good steward is someone who takes care of the responsibility that is given to them. They take care of business and find ways to improve on what is entrusted with them (the parable of the talents). A steward of God is someone who takes care of God’s business. He is a man of God; God can trust him with kingdom things knowing that he will always take care of the responsibility He has entrusted him with. If God has an assignment for someone on earth, He can count on him. A steward of God, in a nutshell, is a trustworthy man.
3) He is not self-willed
Your potential spouse should be selfless. Marriage has to do with a lot of sacrifices and compromise. Just ask those that are married, and they will be quick to back me up on this. The other person's need has to come first. Imagine for a second, a home where the husband and wife are selfless, putting each other’s needs first, that house will be full of joy. A lot of marriages today suffer because each party is busy pursuing their agenda at the expense of their partners. For them, It is about what they can get for themselves. In order for you to be fulfilled in your marriage or relationship, you have to go for someone who is willing to go to any length for you.
4) He is not quick-tempered
Ladies, you cannot marry someone who is hot-tempered. You need peace in your home; you need to be able to come to your haven every day and be free and vulnerable. You should not be walking on eggshells around your partner. You and your potential spouse should be able to have healthy disagreements, without tempers flaring. You should get with someone who can control their anger, someone who is quick to forgive. Because in a marriage you will need a lot of forgiveness. Issues should be able to be resolved easily and amicably.
5) He is not given to wine
This just means that alcohol does not control the man. We have heard stories of how people have drinking problems and how alcohol has destroyed homes. Some men become violent when they are drunk and commit all sorts of atrocities. It is wise for you to choose a potential partner who is not driven by alcohol.
6) He is not violent
I can't stress this point enough, we have heard of countless cases of domestic violence. Some insecure men often take out their frustrations on their partners. They don't know how to control their anger, and they beat up women, and sometimes end up killing them. It often starts off as emotional abuse, and then it progresses to physical violence.
It is better for you to be single for the rest of your life than end up with a violent man. There is enough trouble in the world; that peace is needed in your home. A violent man has no conscience; he has no remorse, he is self-centered and self-seeking, it is all about him and how his partner can please him. Once his needs are not met, he takes it out on his partner. Stay away from such people; they are not worth your time and your life.
7) He is not greedy for money
When picking out a potential life partner, you need someone who isn't greedy for money. Someone who is greedy for money is willing to do anything for money. The person can steal, kill, kidnap, and get into all sorts of bad deals just to get money. The Bible says that the love of money is the root of all evil.
I don't believe that the Bible text lied here because the love of money often drives most crimes we hear about. Someone who is greedy for money is also stingy with money. You need someone who has a generous spirit, someone who is always willing to give. After infidelity, money is the second reason for most divorces according to research. To save yourself the unnecessary heartache, it is better for you to choose someone who is not greedy but generous.
8) He is a lover of what is good
Just like the famous love scripture in the bible says about love, you need a partner who rejoices over what is right. Does he pursue good things; does he want to do well? Does he want to leave the world a better place than he found it? Does he love justice?
9) He is Holy/ Self-controlled
Youthful lusts do not drive him, he is pure, he is faithful, and he is not given to pornography or sexual immorality. He knows how to control his urges. I mean your potential spouse will always come across beautiful women every day. He can’t control how other women may dress around him, but he controls how he responds to what he comes across. Ladies, you need a righteous partner oh! You don't need a womanizer and an adulterer; you don’t need someone who will come home with diseases. You need a man, who will honor your marriage bed and your vows.
10) He holds fast to the faithful word he has been taught
The bible says we shouldn’t be hearers only but also doers of the word of God that is being preached to us. You need a man who holds God’s word with high esteem so he can apply it to his life and the life of those around him.
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In conclusion, as women, we need men who are spiritually discerned. Trust me, I know it's exciting when you meet someone new to be easily carried away by the sweet nothings they spew out of their mouth every day and forget about what we should be paying attention to. Some men who claim to be Christians, don't really care about God or His ways.
Countries that practice Christianity, (Nigeria to be precise) have morphed into a society where "religion" is something that the women do. The undertone of society has quickly become; men, you work for the money and take care of the home financially while women, you take the whole God thing seriously.
It has become a female responsibility to take care of the home spiritually. And this sort of rhetoric is prevalent in Christian communities which is sad.
This is not meant to be so, couples should be able to worship together, pray together, cover each other in prayer, study God's word together, serve together, and create a life together. I pray that the men who come across this post will rise up and take responsibility, and become the men God has called them to be.
So ladies the next time a man comes into your life and starts whispering sweet nothings to you, before you make that leap (marriage), find out if he passes The Titus 1 Test, to say the least, it is something worth considering.
PS- Men The Titus 2 Test is available for you.
Share your funny dating stories here. Remember to like, subscribe, comment, and share. Don’t stop here: click this link and explore all our relationship segment has to offer. About The Author: Evi Idoghor is a Christian, writer, content creator, and a graduate of chemical engineering from the University of Louisiana at Lafayette. Consumed by her love for writing and desire to effect change, she launched her online platform in 2018 to tap into her creativity and start meaningful conversations with one goal in mind—to redefine status quo. Having spent a great part of her formative years in the US where she lived for about 11 years and got to explore what the beautiful country offers by traveling around its coasts, most of her writings have been influenced by her time spent in America. In addition to that, she has worked and partnered with writing agencies and individuals to bring their stories to life.