When I thought about writing this article, I wondered to myself if this was still a thing. I remember while I was back in college, maybe in my second year or so, saying I wanted a bad boy! You know a guy who had swag, who knew how to dress and handle women. I was about 20 years old then. There was this guy I was occasionally seeing who was the definition of a bad guy.
He had multiple women, drank, smoked, and didn’t go to church. In fact one day, my brother not knowing the identity of the person I was seeing said to me—I don’t like the guy you are with, because he is making you not go to church anymore. In those days, I only attended church because I didn’t want to lie to my mom when she called to ask if I went to church on a Sunday. So yeah, that guy was pulling me away from my morals and also God.
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So Why do Good Girls Love Bad Boys?
There is no simple answer to this question. For me back then, it had a lot to do with immaturity. This question has many layers, that needs to be peeled back for different people, to get to the core of the matter. Good girls still fall for the wrong guys these days. It might have to do with daddy issues for some—maybe their father wasn’t present while they were growing up. And their mom dated all sorts of men, who didn’t treat her right. So now the daughter feels like that is how love is supposed to be. For others, it might be self-esteem issues. Not knowing your identity, worth, or value can lead you to bad relationships.
If you feel like you have to struggle for someone to choose you, then you will keep going after men who treat you poorly. I heard of a story once, about a girl, who was in a relationship with a player, she complained about how he kept cheating on her and was sick of it. She eventually broke up with him and moved on with her life. Six months down the line, she met someone else, who worshiped the ground she walked upon. She started complaining that she missed the conflict she had in her past relationship; she missed fighting off other women. She then went ahead to break up with Mr. Nice and got back with Mr. Bad boy.
I can’t even begin to fathom, where her mindset was. She probably felt that she didn’t deserve better, for her to go back to a situation that is so unhealthy for any woman. As I grew and matured, I began to see the need for a good man. A man who would respect, honor, and love me and also be respectful to my family. Someone who would not demean me, or make me feel less than. A man who is confident in who he is. He doesn’t have to be sleeping around to fill a void in his heart, because he knows his identity.
A man who treats others with love and respect as well. Not a man who will lie to me in a drop of a hat, or cheat on me like no man’s business. Gone are those days, where we mistake abuse and disrespect for love. Nobody needs that type of drama, in their life. Life is too precious, to be wasting it on those who don’t value you. We all need someone, who will see our worth, and value it. But that has to begin with us first, knowing our worth, and appreciating it for ourselves. So if you are a good girl, and have the habit of following bad boys, please that behavior needs to stop. You are worth so much more and deserve better.
So over to you guys! What do you think? Should people stay in relationships where they are not respected? Leave your thoughts in the comments section below. Also remember to like, share, and subscribe, never to miss an update. Don't stop here, click this link for more relationship articles.
About The Author: Evi Idoghor is a Christian, writer and content creator on Letstalknationblog.com. She is a chemical engineering graduate from the University of Louisiana at Lafayette. Consumed by her love for writing and desire to effect change, she launched her online platform––Let’s Talk Nation––to tap into her creativity and start meaningful conversations that would make a difference around the world.
Most of her writing has been influenced by her time spent in America, where she lived for about 11 years. Also, she lived in Nigeria and South Korea and currently loves traveling the world while learning about other fascinating cultures. You can find her on all social media platforms with @eviidoghor.