If you have been on this planet for quite a number of years now, and you have dabbled into the dating world, then you might have a clue of what we are speaking about today; guys and lack of communication! If you have not had this problem, then I need to come and sit at your feet and glean some wisdom from you. But for us, young women, in our dating years, we have experienced this strange phenomenon, which guys have put us through, that is their inability to have an open and honest conversation with their significant other.
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Okay, the relationship usually kicks off like this; girl meets guy, and they are both excited about the possibilities of what could be. In the wooing period, guy spends all his time, pulling out all the stops, treating the girl like she is the only thing in the world. He calls her, texts her, stalks her online, sends her flowers, and sweet nothings just to brighten up her day. Girl now falls hook, line and sinker, and then guy is like—aight, my job here is done, I’m out! I mean he doesn’t say those words verbatim, but his actions clearly communicates louder than his mouth can.
What is the issue? Why do some men get lazy to put in the work? If I am being totally honest, this is what scares me from relationships, I have that fear, that when I meet a guy, everything will play out great, until it doesn’t. And I hate being in a space of—shoulda, woulda, coulda. Should I have said this? Would he have responded differently? Could I have acted a certain way? And those thoughts drive me nuts!! For a relationship to thrive, it needs communication. Whether what you are saying is what I need to hear or not, at least I know what is on your heart.
“Communication is to a relationship, as food is to a body.”
Think about it, your body can go a couple of days with little or no food, the longer you starve your body, the weaker it gets, and wouldn’t be able to effectively carry out its other responsibilities. If you push it a lot harder, you will begin to have medical issues, which include undernourishment. And if someone flats out starves for an extended period of time, the person dies from starvation. Same thing in a relationship; if you are not communicating, if it has only been a few days, because of life or whatever issues you guys might encounter, then the relationship might be able to take that hit. But if pushed for an extended period of time, the relationship will not survive it, until work is done to resuscitate it.
I personally thrive on communication, I mean that shouldn’t be a surprise to you guys, because, hello!—Let’s Talk Nation! I love talking, learning about people and exploring their minds. And I want them to do same to me as well. As a writer, words matter a lot to me; it is no wonder words of affirmation are my love language. So I can’t be in a relationship with someone who can’t talk, it would not work. Who remembers Mr. Almost Perfect? Words were how he got me, and lack of words was how he lost me.
My mind is already busy, analyzing different scenarios, stories and ideas that I want to put out there, even for years to come, I can’t start wondering why bae hasn’t called me is six days! Haba now! Guy, you sef check am, what valid excuse can you give for your disappearance, if there is nothing going on with you?
I think men; young men should put in the work to learn about relationships, and what they want out of it. Also learn about what they like, and what they can’t stand. Learn about the essence of relationships, and why they want to be in one to begin with. Relationships have purpose, and if the reason for you to be in one is just because you feel like it’s time, and at a certain age, you should be in one, then please; think again!
Women, enlightened women, have put in the work, learned from experiences, and have chosen to do better. Please don’t make our job difficult. You might be a nice guy no doubt, but are you ready or even mature enough emotionally, to commit yourself to another human? Flaws and all? Think about it!
So what do you guys think? Leave your comments below and also remember to share and subscribe never to miss an update.
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About The Author: Evi Idoghor is a Christian, writer, and content creator on Letstalknationblog.com. She is a chemical engineering graduate from the University of Louisiana at Lafayette. Consumed by her love for writing and desire to effect change, she launched her online platform––Let’s Talk Nation––to tap into her creativity and start meaningful conversations that would make a difference around the world.
Most of her writing has been influenced by her time spent in America, where she lived for about 11 years. Also, she lived in Nigeria and South Korea and currently loves traveling the world while learning about other fascinating cultures. You can find her on all social media platforms with @eviidoghor.