There are many topics I shy away from. I don’t like writing about them, because they are hard truths and tough pills for people to swallow. Such topics spark debates because of differing belief systems and moral standards. Pornography is one of those topics I don’t like talking about. It is a hard topic and an even stronger industry which stands very tall and seems quite undefeated.
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Back in the day, before you could access pornography, you had to wait till the middle of the night while your parents were asleep to catch a glimpse of such movies that no man should have any business starring in. Or you had to make the trip to video rental stores (in the US), and sneak to the back of the store so no one you knew caught you in the process, while you nervously glanced through a genre of X-rated movies your lustful desires were craving.
There was shame attached to you wanting to see such movies or videos, that people often did that in the dark; away from prying eyes. Sex has always been something that sparked curiosity in children, and when parents tried to shield their kids by just telling them to shut their eyes if a kissing scene unknowingly popped up on TV, children wanted to explore even more.
Now, we live in a time when pornography is right at our fingertips. We don’t have to sneak around any longer to access it; it is right there whenever it’s needed and social media has made it more prevalent.
A popular artist visited Nigeria recently and got all the way turnt at a strip club. I cannot even begin to describe what I saw with my eyes. I was busy watching the IG stories of some other videos that were posted, and just with one click, I was thrust into a whole different scenario. It was explicit, and all of that was on social media.
Everyone has access to this artist page; there is no age restriction. So a 13-year old, 10-year old, and even your innocent 5-year old who picks up mommy’s phone can somehow become privy to such content with so much ease. Also, just a simple Google search can thrust you into a different world, and if you are not careful, you will get sucked into this bondage that so easily ensnares us and can be trapped for years on end.
What breaks my heart is when people say: what is the big deal with porn? Or to each his own! Do you know what the big deal is?
1) It breaks up homes: you might be wondering how pornography breaks up families, let’s say for instance a husband is hooked on porn; that creates a false perception of how sex should be with his spouse. All of a sudden he no longer enjoys sex with his wife, she seems boring in bed and dissatisfies him. He only gets excited when he watches other people get it on. And in order for him to get that level of high, he goes and seeks it somewhere else; either by forming a relationship with someone who is willing to swing from one end of the room to the other or by paying for it (he begins to sleep with prostitutes and all sorts.)
Tell me which wife would want to remain in such a household where immorality has been introduced? The bible says for us to keep the marriage bed undefiled. This is not a scenario I have cooked up in my head. I have watched countless videos of couples share their stories on this matter, and the deep healing they had to do to be restored to a place of trust. So I don’t speak ignorantly.
2) It perpetuates a lot of crimes: when I used to be obsessed watching the ID channel, a lot of the violent sex crimes, and surprisingly even some of the murder cases were often linked back to pornography. When the investigators searched the homes of the offenders, they found hundreds and hundreds of pornographic material and videos. I watched these shows so much that, when it was time to search the properties, I knew porn was going to be found. There are various categories of pornography, including violent sex. When you constantly feed yourself with such depravity, you then begin to act out what you ingest.
Think about the #Metoo movement which rocked the world a few years ago, allegations of sexual harassment in the workplace. Do you think pornography had no part to play in that? Or think about the innocent children who are victims of pedophilia or those solicited for child pornography, the perpetrators in such crimes often have a relationship with simulated or virtual child pornography, but yet that industry keeps standing tall.
3) It causes you to have an unhealthy relationship with sex: sex was created by God for the enjoyment of one man and one woman under the covenant of marriage. Now, when you open up yourself to a distorted view of what this sacredness should be, it begins to destroy you. I came across a video of a guy who shared his story about his addiction to porn, and how that led him to bestiality. I could not believe what he was sharing; how “ordinary” pornography pushed him into sleeping with an animal, because there was no human available to satisfy his lust that day, and he made do of what was available.
“Direct my steps by your word, and let no iniquity have dominion over me.” Psalm 119:133
In as much as God created us as sexual beings, He also wants us to have our sex drive under control. Things like pornography do the complete opposite of what God intended for sex to be in marriage. You will need self-control when you get married, so it is not only for when you are single.
4) It taints your relationship with God: “do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit?” (1 Corinthians 6:19) God is holy and has called us to be holy. When we indulge in sexual activity outside of marriage, not to even talk of introducing a third party into the picture like porn, it drives a wedge between us and God.
Gosh, I remember when I was hooked on porn for years and years, my relationship with God struggled. I loved God, but my lust overthrew me every time. And I could not come into the fullness of who God had created me to be because of this thing which hung over my head. I stumbled upon pornography as a little child and that followed me up to the beginning of 2015 when I read a book that completely set me free from lust and unhealthy relationships. Then I began to enjoy a deeper intimacy with God because I no longer had that roadblock in the way of our relationship.
As Christians, most of us struggle with this sin of pornography, but we keep mute about it because of shame. If you share with a trusted group of people within the body of Christ, about how you might be struggling, they can help you overcome. You will be surprised at the number of people who have overcome the same thing you are struggling with.
5) It is sex trafficking: a lot of people don’t see the porn industry as a place where sex trafficking occurs. These people are constantly on the lookout for ‘new talents’. And how the general public contributes to this ‘phenomenon’ is that they create a demand for it. Let’s say your favorite category of porn is the one with girls sleeping with themselves without men involved; what they do is that they go out and look for more women to create this particular content for their viewers.
It’s just like any content creation business: for this blog, I know that people love it when I tell stories, so I constantly rack my brain about what stories I want to tell on this platform, so I can grow my audience. Now, if these porn scouts can’t find women who are ‘willing,’ they go to strip clubs and offer the dancers more money, or they pry on young naïve girls, and rope them into the industry and keep them trapped; forcing them to do obscene things with each other. Most times the ‘characters’ in these movies are high on drugs and alcohol, just to get through a performance: is that what you want to be a part of? Isn’t that a big deal?
Let’s not negate the physical abuse that goes on within the industry and also the high suicide rates, together with murders. No one would talk about those, they only want to show you the ‘glamorous’ side of it, and how it can ‘help’ your sex life and 'save' your marriage.
Those are lies from the pit of hell. If you are not enjoying sex with your spouse, have conversations about it. Two or multiple people degrading themselves on TV aren’t the solutions to your problem. Nine times out of ten, they are not themselves anyway. (Would you allow a shrink who is high on drugs advise you on how to get off drugs?)
Time wouldn’t permit me to go into the identity and sexual confusion that pornography also pioneers. Pornography is certainly a big deal! If we don’t talk about it, that industry wouldn’t be eradicated.
As believers, let us promote a healthy sex life, and not buy into what the enemy is selling. Let us protect our children by having healthy conversations surrounding sex, that they don’t need to go to the internet for answers. Let us pray for those trapped in the sex industry, that God sets them free from such bondage. And if we need help breaking free from porn addiction, let us be open and honest with our brothers and sisters in Christ, so we can become fully who God has called us to be.
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About The Author: Evi Idoghor is a Christian, writer, and content creator on Letstalknationblog.com. She is a chemical engineering graduate from the University of Louisiana at Lafayette. Consumed by her love for writing and desire to effect change, she launched her online platform––Let’s Talk Nation––to tap into her creativity and start meaningful conversations that would make a difference around the world.
Most of her writing has been influenced by her time spent in America, where she lived for about 11 years. Also, she lived in Nigeria and South Korea and currently loves traveling the world while learning about other fascinating cultures. You can find her on all social media platforms with @eviidoghor.