Written by Evi Idoghor
“When You don’t move the mountains, I’m needing You to move, when You don’t part the waters, I wish I could walk through, when You don’t give the answers, as I cry out to you, I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You.”
The above lyrics are from the song—Trust In You by Lauren Daigle. I remember the days I didn’t want to hear those particular lyrics to her hit song because I was wrestling between what I wanted and God's Will for my life. Many years after I had graduated from college, I could not land my dream job. I studied engineering and was waiting to get that big break; you know the one that you get from a prestigious company like Shell or Chevron, then you start living your best life at a young age—That opportunity never came looking for me.
There was a time when I got so close to landing one of those dream jobs, but the rug was pulled from underneath me. It happened multiple times, yet, I did not want to move back home to explore other opportunities. So I kept struggling; believing that God would open the door that I wanted to walk through so badly.
However, it felt like all my prayers fell on deaf ears. Nothing (that I wanted) was happening. In the midst of that, I began to dream about Nigeria. I would see myself in a supermarket, hair salon, or hanging out in front of my childhood home.
Whenever I awoke from such dreams, I immediately rebuked them! I did not want to have anything to do with living in Nigeria. I would pray and pray, cry and cry, with people continually asking me what I was going to do with my life and me trying to convince them that God was going to turn it all around like magic.
Whenever I prayed to Him, I would get things like “Trust in the Lord and in the power of His might.” Psalm 105:4-6 or “For I know the thoughts that I think towards you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11.
I kept fighting those narratives because deep in my heart, I knew that what I wanted was separate from what God wanted for me. Lauren’s song (Trust In You) didn't make it any easier. It would pop up on the radio at random times and I would get so upset because her lyrics spoke directly to me—unlike Lauren, I did not want to trust in God. I needed Him to tell me things like: Chevron is going to call you and offer you that dream job. You know, things of that nature.
What Do You Do When God's Will Doesn't Align With Yours?
You obey Him regardless. Christ in the garden of Gethsemane cried out to God, pouring His heart out, however, He ended with this—nevertheless, not My will but Your will be done. Sometimes, the greatest misconception we get from the church is the one about God wanting to fulfill our every desire, just the way we want it.
Most pastors spend ample time preaching about breakthroughs and how God wants to take you from zero to a 100, overnight, and their audiences get pumped by these messages and hold onto them like they are the gospel of Jesus Christ. (I was one of those.)
Does God want to bless you? Yes! The mere fact that you are alive means that you are currently enjoying His blessings. The sun shines on you, right? When it rains, does it skip your home? Absolutely not! The Bible says that He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. It doesn't have to be materialistic. Does He want you to live life in the best possible way? Absolutely! But what we classify as best life isn’t God’s own definition of the best life.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:9 (NKJV)
What I think best life means to God, is a life full of obedience to His word and leading. It is showing up on time for work when your boss is problematic. It is serving your local church, even when you don't feel like it. It is working a job you want to quit so badly; even when you don't see how your present position is relevant to the life He has shown you (hello Joseph!) It is trusting Him when you don't see any other reason to believe Him. It is in seeking Him first; then everything else follows (Matthew 6:33).
I kept running away as Jonah did in the Bible and kicking against the goads as Paul did in the book of Acts. But eventually, God won. I moved back home to Nigeria, and it was against my will. Yet, it was the best thing that ever happened to my life in recent times.
I surrendered to His will and direction for my life. I resolved within myself that my life will not look like that of my peers, and that is fine. When I started walking in obedience, the better, things became for me. And just like anyone who He promised greatness in the Bible, and got there eventually, I too will get there someday.
I know I am now living out His plans and His desires, and He is leading me daily to where He has for me. The only regret I have is that I wish I had listened to Him sooner. Now when I pray, I pray for His desires, His directions, and His thoughts for my life, because they are good, just as Jeremiah 29:11 reveals and I can rest in the fact that He loves me, even more than I love myself.
If God is leading you down a particular path, (even if you don't like it) just follow Him. Because there is not a day ahead He has not seen.
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