Updated: Jan 1
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“I do not believe there is just one. I believe that God is so great that he’s allowed his glory to shine through situations and imperfect people; it’s almost like choosing what you want to eat for dinner. The purpose of food is what? To be full. Whether you eat poundo [yam], feel good and feel full or eat Chinese, and are also full with have tummy pains. The fact remains that you know your stomach and what you can tolerate. Same with marriage. You know you’re a sensitive person, and then you’re carrying Mr. Sarcastic around Dallas. He’s throwing you sarcasm here and there, and you’re crying at night.” That absolutely makes no sense.
“Plenty have loved and lost simply because they got in their own way.”
“There is actually no one for you. When you find [the] one, you make that [person the] one for you.”
“I think ‘the one’ changes throughout different phases of our lives; I don’t believe in the concept of the one. I do however believe in the concept of multiple partners being ‘the one’ for a specific timeframe depending on the stages of life you’re at.”
“I personally don’t think there is someone out there who has been preselected & deemed to be someone’s one & true love. I think we choose the person we want to spend the rest of our lives with. We decide who the one is and only at some point in time in whatever relationships we are in.”
“Well, [my fiancée] is my one and only, so yes I do believe in the one.”
“I truly don’t believe that there is such a thing as a soul mate/The One. We have all been given free will to choose and be chosen for. I think what makes relationships stand out is the amount of work the couple is willing to pour into the relationship.”
“The one is who you make the one, simple.”
“Hmmmmm I feel like I would love [to] believe it but no. If there is the one, what if, God forbid, he dies before I know him [and I’m] stuck with some subpar second guy who wasn’t meant for me and I’m taking someone’s ‘one.’ It’s too butterfly effect.”
“I do not believe in ‘the one,’ I think you make a conscious effort to love someone and build a relationship with them. No one is perfect, and of course, some people are more compatible than others, but I think it’s a choice.”
“God gave us free will, and whoever you choose, God will bless. It’s important to make however sure [that] whoever you choose will help you fulfill a purpose, not just personal purpose but
purpose as a couple. Many people tend to forget marriage is also a ministry, and God wants to use that to impact people as well.”
That first quote though, I have read it more than 20 times just for laughs. So who here is currently dating Chinese food instead of poundo yam and calling that person “the one”? Too soon? The truth is, I have no answers. Most of us don’t. After reading all the responses, I find it hard to really move my position on this. While I cannot prove that “the one” does not exist, I still do not believe in the version of “the one” that suggests that there is this perfect predestined mate for everyone. I literally could be with anyone. Just one different choice would have changed the entire trajectory of my life not to talk of my life mate. If I had decided to school and work in Illinois instead of Louisiana and Texas, I doubt I would have met my fiancée.
Instead, I believe that the people we ultimately choose to be with are “the one” simply because we chose them. We could have chosen others before them and did not. We could have held out to test the waters after meeting them but did not. To me, choice makes the one. Like I said earlier, all you will really get on the topic of “the one” is an opinion. And ladies and gentleman, I present to you, another opinion; my sincerest apologies that, whether or not “the one” truly exists for each and any one of us merely cannot be proven.
Unless you’re holding out on all of us, have a time machine coupled with VIP access to God’s blueprints and plans, it cannot be done. I also cannot boldly say it does not exist. If you agree that “the one” is who you choose, you can’t possibly make an argument that “the one” does not exist. So I’m going to play it safe and stay in the middle on this one. Convince me that the person you are with is the one and I will not argue. As long as you are happy, I am happy.
A close friend often says “shine your eye.” And I agree. The Chinese food you are calling “the one” that is abusing your stomach or taking your health for granted is probably not the one (nothing against Chinese food by the way). The poundo yam that has been “disturbing” you since with peace, love, kindness, and warmth might be. But they not tall or pretty enough, huh? So I almost forgot: My future wife’s response to the question of whether or not she believed I was the one is below, and she wrote a novel.
“I will say this; I’m a little hurt that we don’t share the same sentiment about this, she says *pouting*. Nonetheless, irrespective of what you believe the one to be, I really do feel like our paths crossing was a divine act of God. But to answer your question; yes, I believe in the one. I believe that God specifically created you for me. I don’t care; I don’t care what you think.
Sure you could have ended up with someone else, but you would have had to turn me down in the process, which by the looks of things never happened *laughs childishly* I’ll go out on a limb and say most people think of my interpretation when they think of the one. However, I should also mention that I believe “the one” takes two forms. You see aside from my personal experience; I believe there is a caveat.
Concerning my belief as a Christian, I believe that God wants us to live our lives to the fullest, which means extraordinary lives. We all have that mandate; this might explain why we all go looking to fill a certain void in our lives when things aren’t making sense. But that’s another conversation for another day. If you are remotely interested in doing the extraordinary with someone, then you’ll more than likely want to be on the same page with that person.
Here’s my truth, I think there are two kinds of people when it comes to the topic of the one. There are some people with special characteristics that just outright can gel with just about anyone. These people can do extraordinary all by themselves, but with a partner they are UNSTOPPABLE. With that being said the idea of the one stems from their decision to make a special person in their life at a given moment the one.
And then there are some “special” people like myself who I feel God has seen that not just anyone will work for this person. So he specifically molds and grooms the “the one” for this person and allows the circumstances of their lives to bring them together so that they can do extraordinary things together. This is not to say that they can’t miss out on the one. It’s still dependent on a choice. But I don’t believe it takes away from my theory.
So, I say all this to say I choose you before I really knew you. Without a doubt, I believe deep in my heart that not just anyone would have cut it, whether or not I was ready to say yes, it had to be you. I’ve just seen way too much in my life to believe that it merely stems from just a choice.”
Okay back to me, I am definitely not arguing with her. In her mind, she has completed her wedding vows (haha). Ladies and gentlemen, with that, I bow out. Thank you for taking the time out of your precious lives to read this post. Please feel free to share your thoughts, opinions, and perspectives no matter how controversial. Don’t forget to subscribe to Let’s Talk Nation for more riveting posts on everyday topics. Let’s keep the conversation going. Let’s talk y’all!
My name is Tade Bolarin, and I approve this message!
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About the Author: Tade Bolarin is an aspiring author; born in Nigeria, raised in the Syrian Arab Republic, and educated in the United States, Tade is at his best when surrounded by people from all walks of life. His passion is people; plain and simple. You can connect with him on Facebook with Tade Bolarin.