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How to Avoid Rushing Into Relationships

Updated: Dec 12, 2020

I love sitcoms (situational comedies). I really do. One of my all-time favorites is Girlfriends, created by Mara-Brock Akil, an American screenwriter who is behind other shows like The Game and Being Mary Jane. The show was centered on the lives of four characters; Joan, Maya, Lynn, and Toni.

I keep watching re-runs of the show from time to time, as I can never get enough of it. Joan, portrayed by Tracee Ellis Ross (Diana Ross’s daughter) is a sucker for love and wants to be in a relationship and get married by all means necessary.

I am Joan & Joan is me

I have identified with the character Joan a lot; in the past, I wanted to be in relationships so bad that I ended up with the wrong people. It took for a worse situation to change my perspective. That experience taught me a lot but did not replace the desire of wanting to be one day married, which is great (hopeful romantic).

But now marriage is no longer an idol and it has become purposeful to me. I don’t want to join myself to just anyone else. In fact, I have become a huge skeptic before I comfortably let people into my life. The topic for today is don’t rush ahead of yourself. Like me, Joan always tried to make things happen with men; she was an expert with shooting her shot.

When she eventually met the right guy, she could not wait for him to call her. Thankfully, she did not have his phone number, if not she would have bombarded him with phone calls. One day the guy called, and by the next day, Joan invited three of her friends to tell them of their conversation (gosh she is so me!) They told her not to rush ahead of herself, and just let things play out naturally with the guy. Luckily for her, they ended up dating, but she couldn’t wait for him to propose.

Be anxious for nothing

It was as if she wasn’t satisfied in whatever season she found herself in; she was always looking forward to what was next. She was so anxious for a proposal to happen that she went ahead to propose to him. The guy was overwhelmed and didn’t give her an answer. She became embarrassed and ran away, refusing to speak with him.

She felt she had ruined it, and when he spoke to her friends, explaining the situation to them, he told them that he didn’t say anything to her proposal because he wanted to be the one to ask her, as he was planning her dream proposal with all her family and friends. She didn’t know all the while that he was planning a grand proposal for her; bigger than what she dreamed or imagined.

Truth is Joan is like many of us; we meet someone new, and we can’t wait for them to ask us out on a date. We start dating them, and we can’t wait to get engaged, we get engaged, and we can’t wait to be married. We rush ahead and make our plans which cannot be compared to what God has for us; be it a relationship, job, kids, whatever the case may be. Remember the story of Abraham?

There is a time for everything

Life has been divided into seasons; Ecclesiastes 3:1 reminds us of this—“To everything, there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven.” So, there is a time for everything to be made manifest; if it’s not manifesting, then it is neither the time nor the season. Think about fruits, there is a season for mango, and there is a season for cherry/African star apple (agbalumo).

You will never see a mango fruit when it’s not its season, or see cherry, during mango season. When the cherry season is over, I no longer see them on the streets. Then I start seeing the mango fruit; it is so fascinating. Everything manifests in their season, they never get mixed up. That is the same way God has partitioned our lives.


There was a season when I was without a job, that season was a tough one, but when the time came for me to start working, the opportunity fell on my lap. It’s the same thing. When we rush ahead of ourselves, and most importantly, God, trying to make things happen, shooting our shot, (the way the world likes to put it), we tend to miss out on God’s best for us.

God knows the end from the beginning and knows you more than you will ever know yourself. And He also knows how to give the best gifts, only if we can trust Him with the process.

What is for you is for you

What is for you is for you. You will not have to beg for it, twerk for it, cry for it, sleep with it, or die for it before it comes to you. Trust God with your desires, delight in Him, and if it is according to His will (1 John 5:14-15), He will bring it to pass. That boo, that job, those opportunities, those kids; No one can stop God's plans for your life. Your lack of patience and trust might delay you for another season (the children of Israel) but His plan will still come to pass.

Just in case you were wondering how the story of Joan and Aaron ended, he eventually gave her the proposal of her dreams, just the way he knew she wanted it.

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Don’t stop here; click this link to explore more on our Relationships page.


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