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How to Cope After a Relationship Ends Abruptly

Updated: Dec 3, 2020

Written by Evi Idoghor, Creator of

Heartbreak sucks! What's even worse? When it happens unexpectedly. The person on the receiving end is blindsided by the turn of events and has been left alone to pick up the fragments of their broken heart. At this point, a lot of questions come into play—did I do something wrong? Maybe the way I spoke to his mom last week was rude, or I should have accompanied her to go see her father six months ago. Or the fan-favorite—is there someone else?


People start thinking up crazy scenarios in their mind, all in a bid to make sense of why things turned out the way they did with the person they thought they would sail into the sunset with. Most times the outcomes of relationships are unpredictable, no matter how good they appear to be. Relationships start and end for a plethora of reasons, sometimes leaving the parties involved confused with a boatload of questions.

If your relationship just ended, and you are in search of ways to cope with the hand life has dealt you, here are 5 simple ways to move forward:

Step 1: Have the dreaded conversation

Yes, closure is often overrated, but in situations where something ends all of a sudden, the person who received the short end of the stick deserves to know the reason why things ended the way they did. Also, be prepared not to get a reasonable explanation or no explanation at all. Sometimes, the silence is all you need to know that the circumstance you were in wasn’t ideal in the first place.

Related Post: 5 Simple Ways To Get Over a Heartbreak

Step 2: Don’t beat yourself up

If a person decides that they don’t want to be with you any longer, that is absolutely okay. It just shows that they are not your forever person. Don’t beat yourself up for what you have no control over, don’t try and make things work either, especially when they are not forthcoming with any reasonable explanations as to why they don’t want to be with you any longer. Learn from the experience, and walk away with your dignity intact.

Step 3: Create distance between you and your ex-partner

Now, you have to keep a safe distance between you and this person. I am a big proponent of quitting people cold turkey, but I also understand that not everyone deserves such a treatment. In order for you not to be sucked back into a relationship that has already deserted you, keep the other party at arm’s length. Give yourself all the time you need to heal.

Step 4: Turn off the depressing movies, TV shows, and music

Yes, we understand that your heart just got shattered into a million little pieces, and you want to watch Terms of Endearment, or The Notebook or listen to Toni Braxton’s hit single, Unbreak My Heart, we get it, and we empathize with you. But in actuality, those things do more harm than good to your spirit. Turn on the hilarious sitcoms, and laugh your heart out. Turn on worship music and pour your heart out to God. Let Him know where you are hurting, and He will bring about the healing you so need, the way only He can.

Step 5: Focus on your purpose

Most times when we get into relationships, we often tend to keep the things which matter to us on the back burner, or at bay. We make our partners the end all be all of our existence and that in and of itself is unhealthy. Some of us distance ourselves from family members, church communities, and friends. Now is the time to get back into living your life, without making someone the center of it. What has God called you to do? What is that burning desire you once had? When was the last time you visited your family or friends? Focus on these things, and watch your heart explode with love and satisfaction, you didn’t know it was capable of.

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About The Author: Evi Idoghor is a Christian, writer, content creator, and a graduate of chemical engineering from the University of Louisiana at Lafayette. Consumed by her love for writing and desire to effect change, she launched her online platform in 2018 to tap into her creativity and start meaningful conversations with one goal in mind—to redefine status quo. Having spent a great part of her formative years in the US where she lived for about 11 years and got to explore what the beautiful country offers by traveling around its coasts, most of her writings have been influenced by her time spent in America. In addition to that, she has worked and partnered with writing agencies and individuals to bring their stories to life.

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