Let's Talk about Character

Updated: Sep 26, 2018

It is important to know a person’s behavior before you commit to them.

How important is a person’s character when it comes to relationships? Can you be with someone whose character stinks? Or can you overlook some character flaws, just because the person appears to be perfect in other areas? What are your deal breakers when it comes to this topic?

Today’s post is the part 2 of our Let’s Talk Series, where we explore topics you need to consider before committing to a long-term relationship. The first part was Let’s Talk about Commitment, be sure to check that out if you haven’t. Our topic today has to do with a person's character.

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Character can be defined as the mental and moral qualities, distinctive to an individual. From this definition found on Google, it is safe to say that a person’s character, is who they are or who they believe themselves to be. So it will be very difficult for someone to change their character or behavior, just as the saying goes—a leopard cannot change its spots.

So if you meet someone, who is exhibiting some character traits, that you are not comfortable with, that would be a good time to leave, or evaluate the situation further and make an informed decision.

How then can we become good judges of character?

My take is, from experience! If you are an adult and you are ready for a relationship, you may have gone through some certain experiences in your life. It doesn't have to be just relationship wise, maybe some of your friendships, or work experiences must have shown you how people react or behave. By now you should know what you like and what you dislike.

For me, I can't stand people who are disrespectful! It is a pet peeve of mine. You must treat everyone with respect. I don't entertain disrespect from family, friends or even strangers. If by now you are wondering —what else can I use to be a good judge of character? Below are some thought starters that you can consider before you jump into a relationship with someone. So here goes!

I will start with my favorite; Respect. How respectful are they of others? Are they rude to their friends, family or co-workers? Better still how do they treat strangers? People, who serve them? If the person is generally disrespectful, it won't be long before you start getting that short end of the stick.

Loyalty; this is very important because you want to join your life with someone who will be there for you, who can defend you, and who can fight for you. If the person you are considering is flaky, never keeps to their word, always comes up with excuses as to why they can't commit to something they already agreed to do, then that person isn't loyal. For a long-term relationship, such as marriage to work successfully, you need someone who is loyal to go on that journey with you.

Trust; Can you trust the said person? Almost similar to trust is loyalty. Is the person trustworthy? Do you believe that the person you want to be with will be committed to just you? Can you tell this person your deepest darkest secrets and not feel judged? Or possibly hear about it from others later? Some guys and girls already exhibit some disloyal tendencies in the beginning.

They might be entertaining other people while deceiving you that you are the only one. Pay attention to their actions, don't ignore any signs, no matter how minute it may seem. Remember (if you want this for the long haul) you are making sure if this is someone you want to join the rest of your life with. What is a relationship without trust anyway?

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Peace; I love my peace, anyone who wants to come into my life and be a pain in my behind is not welcome. I always say that the world is chaotic, and we don’t need to come home and deal with more chaos. Find out if the person has anger issues. Do you guys always butt heads? How do they react when they are angry? Do they throw things around or physically want to hurt someone?

Do they hit below the belt during an argument? Are they verbally or emotionally abusive? Are they more interested in winning an argument or resolving the issue at hand? Can they take a joke? Do they forgive easily? I believe these are important questions you should ask yourself before you go waltzing into someone's life.

Manipulation; Does it seem like they always coerce you to do things, just for their selfish gain? Do they put your needs first, or always make you satisfy them first before you can even think of yourself? Manipulation is a horrible thing.

If the person you are considering is always guilt tripping you to do something for them, or maybe even blackmailing you, then you have a huge problem on your hands. Talk to others; do not get to know/date someone in isolation, because sometimes the things others may see, you are blinded to, since you are involved with this person.

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There are still more things to consider when evaluating a person's character, but these are a few I wanted to share with you today. Take everything you learn about someone into consideration, if there are things that go against your beliefs personally, do not compromise on them, believing that the other person would change. Because a person only changes when they are ready to change or when God touches their heart.

Hope you grabbed a thing or two from today's article and enjoyed it as much as I did writing it. Always remember to share your crazy relationship stories with us in the comment section, or if you have some insight, you can share it as well. Remember also to like, share & subscribe, to never miss an update.

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