Updated: Apr 17
So this is the second part of what I like to call—what this pandemic/lockdown has taught me. The takeaway from part one was—we don’t actually know jack! I mean who does? Now, the other thing I have learned, that I would like to share with you guys today is—don’t sweat the small stuff, which I think can be applied to marriages/relationships.
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Some of you might be confused thinking—wasn’t she the one who wrote an article a few months ago titled—sweat the small stuff? Yup! That was me. But today’s post is written in a totally different context (context is key to understanding scenarios completely.)
Let’s face it; an area that has been hard hit since this lockdown began is relationships, especially marriages. Today while watching a talk show, they revealed that some courts were going to begin virtual divorces. Yes, guys, it is that bad. I wouldn’t say that the issues some couples have, began with the pandemic which is now leading to a divorce, but this lockdown has definitely contributed to their underlying problems.
I am no expert when it comes to marriages and relationships. I have never been married, but I just spend my time thinking a lot about certain things and I feel like I can offer some insight when it comes to this thing called love/commitment.
Don’t sweat the small stuff
Back to my lesson, this lockdown has taught me not to sweat the small stuff. How do you mean? Some might ask. I have been locked down with my younger cousin for a little over two weeks now. In fact, as soon as the Federal Government issued the directive, I sent her a message asking for her to come and stay with me for the time being, because I did not want to be by myself. I live alone 80% of the time, and quite frankly, I adore my space and alone time. When others were busy whining about how the lockdown has been difficult for extroverts, and how it is even beginning to affect those who once thought they were introverted, I on the other hand, have been great with the process; Mr. President, another two weeks? Let’s go!
Since I am used to being by myself, I enjoy a certain serenity that comes with my space. But since my cousin has been here, (which has been great by the way) I have learned how not to sweat the small stuff, by being sacrificial. She prefers the light on, most of the time, while I thrive in darkness; the light coming from the television is good enough for me, but she feels it’s bad for my eyes. Also, we could be watching a movie, and then she starts viewing something on her phone with the sound on, and it drives me nuts! Honestly, that is one of my pet peeves; I can’t wrap my head around how people just do that, with someone else there (I mean, why did they manufacture headphones?)
I was at the bank one day, and a lady who sat down waiting for her turn, kept watching videos on her phone, with the volume so loud that everyone and their mother could hear the dialogue from what she watched and I wondered—where do you think you are? In the market? Why are you making so much noise? I had to tell one of the staff to talk to her about it. I mentioned I thrive in darkness, I also thrive in quietness. Once a place is rowdy, I cannot function. One of my friends always complained that whenever she was in the car with me, I preferred to have the radio turned off. As a creative person, there is a lot that goes on in my mind. I am never bored; I am always dreaming about something, hence the need for serenity.
So when the lockdown first began, even if she complained about the light, I would still turn them off, while complaining about the noise coming from her devices. But with time (this short amount of time), I had to make some sacrifices and not sweat the small stuff, especially if I did not want her to run back to her house (haha). I began to make accommodations for the things I am not naturally comfortable with, just to make her feel at home (although I still let her know once in a while, that I don’t want to be a part of her meeting at work, yes she disturbs me with everything).
This experience has made me question myself—are you sure you are ready for a lifelong relationship, if little things like these get to you? Who told you your spouse wouldn’t prefer the lights on or would see anything wrong with watching videos with the volume on 100 on their phone? Who told you your husband would want the TV on at all times but on mute? (I know, I have issues.)
The beauty of marriage or any relationship is about embracing individual differences and giving room for each other’s flaws, while not letting the little things get to you. It is about finding ways to engage with each other and not allowing what the other person did the other day affect your mood today. If you want to have a successful relationship (even if it’s in a friendship or a romantic relationship), you have to be willing to make some sacrifices, and not sweat the small stuff; I have learned that.
I pray for struggling marriages in this season, that they will be restored with a renewed hope and outlook on life.
What do you think about this article? What have you learned about yourself or situation so far? Leave your thoughts in the comments section below, and also remember to like, share and subscribe, never to miss an update.
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About The Author: Evi Idoghor is a Christian, writer, and content creator on Letstalknationblog.com. She is a chemical engineering graduate from the University of Louisiana at Lafayette. Consumed by her love for writing and desire to effect change, she launched her online platform––Let’s Talk Nation––to tap into her creativity and start meaningful conversations that would make a difference around the world.
Most of her writing has been influenced by her time spent in America, where she lived for about 11 years. Also, she lived in Nigeria and South Korea and currently loves traveling the world while learning about other fascinating cultures. You can find her on all social media platforms with @eviidoghor.