Updated: Apr 21
I never thought I would find myself in this situation; sexually transmitted disease , was something I learned about in biology class or watched in movies or read about in blogs. I never thought that I would one day worry if I was clean or not. Dating Fisayo came with a lot of mess. It was like walking on eggshells all the time. I did not know what mood I was going to catch him in each time. Would he be happy, mad or sad? Will he go off on me about something I did or didn’t do? I held on to whatever was left in our relationship, just to say I had a boyfriend. I was living in fear and needed to break out of the relationship.
Claudia Soraya- unsplash.com
One day, he called me while I was at Stacey’s house and said that I should go to a secluded place because he wanted to speak to me in private. I thought nothing of it as we already spent a fantastic weekend together. I went into my friend's room, and then he asked me if there was ever a time I had some infection. I’m like ahn ahn (what)? He said, “answer the question, if you like, lie about it." I was not sure where the animosity was coming from, I tried everything within my power to make Fisayo happy, and all he did was always find excuses to pick a fight with me, knowing fully well that he would dominate the situation.
I went on to tell him about a time when I had UTI, but I was so scared to tell him because he was going to be mad at me. It was the first time I had UTI and wasn’t sure what had caused it. So I treated myself without letting him know. He was so furious about me withholding that information from him, he said UTI wasn't a big deal, his mom and sister had it, and that I'd rather speak to my friends about things than talk to him. He had gone through my messages and saw the information I exchanged with Stacey, telling her about the UTI.
Yes, he always went through my phone, but I had no access to his phone whatsoever. If he was stepping out for a second, he went with his phone; if he was going to the bathroom (you guessed that right), he went with his phone. But he always picked up my phone to read my messages. He went ahead to say he was feeling a type of way and decided to get checked out, and the nurses/doctors told him he had a certain std. He tried to think of where he could have possibly contracted the “std," and then a light bulb came on, he remembered I had UTI. I was shocked.
Wetin consine (what connection) UTI with this type of std? I mean I am no doctor, but I was smart enough to know that there was no connection. He went on and on about how I put him at risk and needed to get checked out and get treated for the std. I tried to assure him that it wasn’t because of the UTI, and I will get tested. After I got off the phone with him, I was just weak. We just had a great time together, I thought to myself, what kind of temptation is this? Now looking back, he was trying to do damage control, I think he went to the hospital, and as routine, they informed him that he needed to get in touch with all his sexual partners and tell them about the std. And that was his way of letting me know.
The next day I went to urgent care and tested negative for the std (I know God loves me, even in my mess). They still prescribed antibiotics for me to take, just in case it was lying dormant in me, but that was less likely. I went ahead to ask the doctor if there was any connection with UTI and the said std, and he said there was no way that was possible. That it was even difficult to pass on UTI your partner. Fisayo just wanted to pin his messy lifestyle on me. And I was so naïve to see what he was doing at the time.
I called Fisayo with the news and thought he would be glad, but he was cold towards me, and he warned me not to tell anyone. I had a friend in Stacey, she shared in most of the burden I carried in my tumultuous six months relationship with Fisayo, and so I didn't keep anything from her. I called Stacey immediately telling her that I was clear from the std. What I didn’t know was that Stacey was at Lola’s house when I called her, I would later find out that Lola informed Fisayo that I had spoken to Stacey. (learn more about Lola in Revisiting Ground Zero: The Other Woman (pt. 3))
Breakup Number 2
This information now led to our second break up. Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse with Fisayo, new allegations came up against me. That fateful day, we had planned to go bowling with all our friends, and I looked forward to it. But because of the “std” Fisayo was acting super cold towards me. He wouldn’t talk to me, and he wouldn’t pick my calls. We still went out anyway. And everything was just weird; people even noticed that we weren’t close that day.
After bowling had ended, we rode back to my house together, and that was where the interrogation started. “give me your phone," "where are Stacey's messages?", "You told her didn't you?" “ if you didn’t tell her, then why are her messages missing?” I told her alright, but it wasn’t through text. Why do you feel the need to go through my phone? Why did you think I told her? Are you just looking for ways to fight me? Those were my questions back to him. To which he responded, "I just knew you would tell her." He was infuriated! I had never seen him get that mad before. He was hitting his steering wheel, saying “I told you, but you wouldn’t listen!” “This relationship is over!” I broke down crying, pleading with him not to break up with me, but he told me to get out of his car, and I did.
Thought Catalog- unsplash.com
Have any of you broken up with the same person multiple times? Have you tried to make a worthless relationship work? Share your thoughts with me below! Thank you for reading as always, and have a blessed week. Make sure to come back and find out what happens after The Second Break up; it promises to be interesting.
*The names and location in this story has been changed to protect the individuals involved*