Which is better?
It’s funny how with all that life has to offer, we still come back to this topic of being single or being in a relationship. I love it though, because it always makes for a great conversation. Today’s question is, which one is better? Both come with their advantages and disadvantages, but when you are done reading this article, I want you to decide for yourself which one works best for you, in the season of life you are in. So let’s talk about it!
As a hopeful romantic, I would think that my instant answer to this question would be—in a relationship! But when I was asked this recently, I had to think through my response carefully, (Ah Evi! You’ve grown oh! Ha-ha) which gave birth to this entire article.
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I will start off by saying, no one is better than the other, but it is good for us to enjoy and be content with whatever stage or phase in life we find ourselves. Most times when people are single, they long to be married or be in a relationship, without enjoying the single stage. Hence missing out on life's most significant opportunities. In the single phase, you don’t have to worry about a partner, you tend to be more focused on your goals, as the bible puts it, you are more concerned with serving and pleasing God (if you are a Christian). You can pick up and travel at any time, without having to consider someone else.
You can accept great job opportunities, move countries, and start building something substantial. You can stay out late, have countless sleepovers, and just enjoy all that life has to offer. When you are in a committed relationship, you have to take someone else into consideration, before you say yes to anything. Sometimes when I am out with my sister-in-law, she is anxious to go home to do something for her household. While I am thinking, gosh!
You just cut our fun time short. I want to be out here in these streets, but now I have to go home because you have to go and cater to your husband, my sometimes annoying brother (ha-ha). But let me not rain on the married people’s parade oh! Marriage is great (so I’ve heard). Being in a committed relationship has its fair share of perks. Solomon didn't tell a lie when he said: "two are better than one." Or "if two people lie down together, they will keep warm." And Lord knows that we all need that warmth at some point in our lives (body no be wood, in marriage oh!)
Just having someone to share your day with, watch a movie together, talk to them about how someone cut you off in traffic, call them randomly to say—can you imagine what just happened? Or to just gist with, at all times. Someone who has your back, who fights for you, encourages you and loves on you, for no reason. Two are definitely better than one. I used to be one of those people, who weren’t satisfied with their single life. I have been in this hustle game for like ten years now (ha-ha). Looking for fulfillment in others.
Is it wrong to desire a relationship or marriage? Absolutely not! But when you crave it because you are not content, then that comes with issues. That feeling usually leads to settling and broken relationships, which would leave you worse off than you started. In such relationships, you take whatever you get from people, because you feel you don’t deserve any better.
It shouldn’t be so. Fall in love with yourself first, discover who you are, find out your purpose and get so invested in them, that you wouldn’t have the time to sulk over the fact that you are single. When you are confident in whom you are, and are so occupied with your career or purpose, then you begin to attract the right people. You now have substance to bring to the table. In fact, you become selective, because you know better than to settle, and you know your worth. The single phase in your life is a gift and should be taken time to unravel. Don't rush to the next step because everyone around you seems to be getting boo'd up. The right time for a partner will roll around and will happen like a pleasant surprise.
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I think the issue here has to do with contentment. Some single people want to be married, and some married people want to be single. It reminds me of wanting to grow up so bad as a child. I wanted to be an adult by all means. Then I got to adulthood, and I’m like woah! There is a lot of responsibility for being an adult! Can I be a child again? All this is just to say each phase in life comes with its own beauty and challenges. Enjoy and work through them, which is when you will find true fulfillment and contentment.
So single vs. in a relationship, which one is better? Join in on the conversation! Let’s tackle this together. Remember to like, comment, share and subscribe, never to miss an update with Let’s Talk Nation.