Written by Evi Idoghor
In April 2014, my friends and I banded together to persuade Eileen, whose birthday was approaching, to throw a party. There wasn't much to do in Lafayette, so whenever someone's birthday came up, it was our chance to do something fun. She agreed, and we began to plan. We suddenly realized we had a problem: no men. How can a group of young women throw a party when members of the opposite sex are unavailable? We needed some spice.
"I know a few Nigerian guys who just came into town for training," one person said to help us out. They've been looking for something to do, so this party will give everyone a chance to meet and mingle." We nodded, giving her to go ahead to invite the men. So, we planned our menu, made playlists of the latest Nigerian hits, decorated the apartment, and waited for Saturday night.
Saturday night came along and I wore a cute little romper from Forever 21. After I left my apartment, I picked up one of my friends and drove down to the apartment where the party was being held. When I arrived, I parked my car near the exit gate. When we got out of the car, I noticed a group of young men standing outside a car on the other side of the exit gate. "These guys look Nigerian, it's like they're here for the party," I told my friend. "Let me to go ask them." "Go now, me, I'm going inside," she said. I walked up to the gate and asked, "are you here for the party?"
"Yes," they said. "All right, I'll drive my car up to the gate and open it for you." They were thankful. I drove up to the gate granting them access. They drove in and took over my parking spot in the process, so I had to find another spot. Once I got out of my car, they all walked up to me with this tall guy leading the way, saying, "thank you for opening the gate for us." My heart thumped.
When we entered the apartment, most of the ladies' gazes were fixed on this tall man. He was dark skinned - his build showed that he spent some time at the gym, and he had a deep voice, which sent shivers down my spine. One of our male friends approached me and said, "See fine boy oh! Better shoot your shot." Imagine my surprise when he walked up to me and asked me to dance. As we made it to the dance floor, he said, "my apologies, what is your name again?" I replied with all my teeth on display, and then I asked him what his name was, as I had also forgotten his name, and he replied, "Fisayo."
Then he drew me to the balcony, away from all the noise, and began asking me more personal questions. That night, the conversation ended with him asking for my phone number. There was no room for shakara oh. I immediately called it out for him, and he rang me on the spot to ensure I hadn’t given him the wrong number. But how could I? Had he looked at himself in the mirror?
He texted me later that night after he left the party, asking if I could hang out with him the next day at his house, but I declined. I didn't want to come across as too easy. We texted back and forth for a few hours on Sunday. Then, on Monday, he invited me to his house again, and this time I accepted because I couldn't wait to see him. We had interesting discussions about relationships and trivial matters, which revealed our personality types. I was the type who loved to stay indoors and cozy up to a good movie, while he was the outdoorsy type. He walked me to my car after our two-hour hangout and just when I was about to open my door, he planted a kiss on my lips. My heart rate increased by several beats per minute. On the 30-minute drive back home, I kept thinking about our date and cheesing to myself.
The next day, I felt a heaviness in my chest. The sensation is similar to the feeling you get when you are about to make a bad decision. It bothered me for days. "Don't rush and make decisions without seeking God first," our leader said at a bible study on Thursday evening. Strangely, I felt the message was for me – it was as if I knew God wasn’t going to approve on this budding relationship with Fisayo. However, I wasn’t going to give up this opportunity to be in a relationship with him - God go dey alright.
I had a trip to the UK planned for the end of that week, but I was no longer excited about it. I wanted to spend every waking moment with Fisayo. He had promised to see me the day before I left for London. My initial plan was to drive down to Houston on Friday and fly out of from there on Saturday, but since he promised to see me on Friday, I figured I'd just leave early on Saturday to catch my flight later that day. Fisayo, on the other hand, did not arrive at my house until midnight on Friday.
His late arrival was due to working late, but I couldn't care less. We sat next to each other on my little couch in my living room, where I opened up to him about my previous relationships. I mentioned in our conversation that the UK guy was somewhat controlling because of how he yelled at me the last time I was in London. "I can be controlling, but not in a bad way," Fisayo said after a brief pause. "ehhh, he said not in a bad way, so we'll see how it goes," I reasoned.
After a long conversation that night he asked me to be his girlfriend. I was overjoyed. My excitement wasn’t enough for him, when he insisted that he needed to hear me say yes. I said yes. That night, he slept over at my house, and morning couldn't come soon enough so I could reveal to my friends that I now had a boyfriend. I woke Fisayo up early that morning, after I finished getting ready, to let him know I was ready to leave for my trip. He went into the bathroom to freshen up, after that, he helped carry my suitcase to car, and gave me a long speech about how he hated good-byes. "Please call me every hour until you arrive in Houston." He was adamant. "No problem," I replied.
I returned from my trip a week later and went straight to see Fisayo. He was waiting outside his apartment for me and greeted me with the warmest smile and hug. Fisayo couldn't keep his hands off me when we went out to dinner. I was already aware that the whole "no sex before marriage" thing had gone out the window. Did I even ask Fisayo if he was a Christian before agreeing to date him?
So, we went back to his apartment after dinner and had sex for the first time. I felt a little guilty after that experience, but that quickly faded - I knew that in order to be in a relationship with Fisayo, I had to be willing to give up whatever sense of purity I thought I had.
Twists and Thorns is a retelling of my first short story series published on this platform five years ago. On the 5th anniversary of this blog, I have decided to bring back story telling. Two parts will be published weekly in keeping with the video story series I will publish on Instagram. Buckle up, its going to be a great ride! I hope you enjoy this series.
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