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What is the Point of Waiting to have Sex after Marriage?

Updated: Nov 2, 2019

One day she asked me with such a worried look on her face—“is it really worth it to wait to have sex after marriage?” I gasped for some air, already calculating what answer I was going to give her when she interjected my thoughts by saying; “I look at my mother’s marriage today, and if that is all marriage has to offer, I want no part in it. She is a devout Christian, did everything right, was a virgin until she got married, prides herself in able to keep her legs closed all those years, but yet she isn’t happy; I see it in her eyes. What is the point of saving sex for marriage?”

Image courtesy of Raw Pixels

Because He said so

Do you remember as kids, when you asked your parents about the point of doing something they said you should and they responded with--because I said so? The same applies to us as children of the Most High, we should obey Him just because He said so.Waiting to have sex after marriage is not a guarantee for a pitch-perfect union; you must also take other things into consideration, such as the different upbringing you both had, past hurts, and whatever you and your partner may be struggling with individually. Those things have a part to play, and depending on how you handle them when they come up, they tend to make or break your union.

With that being said, God commands us to do so, for reasons best known to him; I like what Eli said to Samuel in the bible, when God had revealed to Samuel, certain things that would go down in Eli’s household. Those things were not pleasant to the ears, but Eli responded to Samuel saying—“it is the Lord, let him do what seems good to Him.”

If it seems good to the Lord, then it is for our good, and we get to please Him, by our obedience. After all isn’t obedience better than sacrifice? (1 Samuel 15:22)

Our Body is a Temple

The bible lets us know that our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, which dwells in us as believers. It also goes ahead to say that our body is not for sexual immorality, and do we not know that we are the temple of the Holy Spirit? (1 Corinthians 6:19) If you know anything about temples, especially the ones you find in parts of Asia, they are adequately taken care of and revered. When people go to visit such temples, they have to take off their shoes, walk around quietly and observe the beauty that are these great work of arts.

In the Old Testament, temples where a place of worship and not everyone had direct access to every nook and cranny of the temple. Only the High Priest had access to what was called the Holy of holies. If you weren’t a high priest and you happen to find yourself in the Holy of holies, be rest assured that you were going to lose your life. That was how God maintained order in the place where people came to worship him. If there were no restrictions, the place would have been a total disaster, like when Jesus had to use a whip to drive out the money changers and those who conducted business in God’s house.

Now God doesn’t dwell in places built by men anymore; he currently resides in the believer. He doesn’t just want anyone to have access to our holy of holies; He wants that to be reserved for your one day spouse. If we keep giving people complete access to our intimate parts, then we are defiling the temple of the living God, and that isn’t his will for us. So if you are wrapped up in that, it is never too late to make a detour.

You are free from unwanted pregnancies and possibly some STDs

One of the biggest debates going on in the United States revolves around Pro-life versus Pro-choice. People are fighting for the right to terminate pregnancies at ridiculous stages. Maybe if people followed the way of the Lord more, and preserved themselves for marriage, then we wouldn’t have to deal with that issue at the scale it is being dealt with.

When you are not having sex, you have zero percent chances of getting pregnant, zilch!; no immaculate conception is ever going to happen again; Jesus has already been born. Plus the chances of contracting STDs are slim to none. Isn’t that a great deal? You can prepare and plan for when you want to have children, and provide a stable two-parent home for them.

Now, as I pointed out in the beginning, all of these are not guarantee that you will have a happy marriage, or that your spouse will never cheat on you. Regardless waiting to have sex should be done, as an honor to God, which we demonstrate by being obedient to his word. It is no different from–“thou shall not commit murder or steal or tell lies.”Those are his commands as well, and we see the benefits and suffer the consequences when the opposite is done.

What do you think about this article? Leave your comments below, also remember to like, share and subscribe, never to miss an update on Let’s Talk Nation.

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About The Author: Evi Idoghor is a Christian, writer, and content creator on She is a chemical engineering graduate from the University of Louisiana at Lafayette. Consumed by her love for writing and desire to effect change, she launched her online platform––Let’s Talk Nation––to tap into her creativity and start meaningful conversations that would make a difference around the world.

Most of her writing has been influenced by her time spent in America, where she lived for about 11 years. Also, she lived in Nigeria and South Korea and currently loves traveling the world while learning about other fascinating cultures. You can find her on all social media platforms with @eviidoghor.

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