Written by Evi Idoghor
Everyone has experienced rejection and if you are like me, you agree that it sucks! Rejection often makes us feel inadequate or less valuable. Be it being rejected from a job opportunity, or by a person you fancy who doesn't return the gesture, or perhaps you have gotten your million dollar idea tossed out the window, these things often leave us helpless and most times, hopeless.
So much so that we begin to think that since no one wants us, or since our circumstances seem dire, then there must be something wrong with us. In today’s article, I am going to share how we can begin to view rejection as a blessing, rather than a disappointment.
I remember graduating college, applying for countless jobs, and endlessly getting those emails that read—“We are sorry, but we decided to move forward with a more qualified candidate.” I dreaded those emails; I had received so many of them, that when I applied for jobs I often expected to get rejected than accepted—rejection was the norm for me.
There was one incident that hurt really badly. I interviewed with this company, and it looked promising. The recruiter said to me excitedly— "we just need management to approve your employment, and that would be it!" Then She asked that I give her two weeks to get everything in place. I was exhilarated when she muttered those words to me, sharing with friends and family members that I was about to start working for an oil and gas organization.
I had just graduated college and within weeks I was presented with the opportunity to interview with this company. After our meeting, I emailed her to say—thanks for the opportunity (you know the email they always advise young job seekers to send after a meeting or interview with a prospective employer). Anyway, at the two weeks marker, when I didn't hear from the recruiter, I began blowing up her phone.
I called her many times, sent her emails, and then got the dreaded response—I am sorry, my team and I couldn’t get management to approve you for employment—I wish you good luck in all your endeavors. That email left me hollow—just like that my hopes and dreams of becoming a young engineer were shattered completely. I was bereft. I had dreamt of the smile I would put on my father’s face (the man is still not smiling as I have abandoned the engineering field altogether).
I had also dreamt about the number of people I would tell that I had made it! I daydreamed about the kind of apartment I would move into and the countless trips I would take around the world, but alas, someone pulled the plug on those dreams. However, that was the first of many; not just job-wise, but relationship-wise, idea-wise, friendship-wise, and life-wise. I tied my self-worth to all these things so much so that I was devastated each time a rejection occurred.
My journey of wanting to be validated by a job title, a man by my side, and friends that I could feel comfortable around, landed me at a point where I had to learn to love myself—which led me to discover that my self-worth should not be tied to how much people love me or anything I can achieve for myself by myself, but should be found only in Christ.
So I began to believe in the gifts God blessed me with and thought that if companies or organizations didn't want me, it might be because I am meant to be somewhere else. As a result, I concluded that my life wouldn't look like that of my peers or what people desire for it to look like, and that is totally fine.
The boy I seem to want at the moment, the job opportunity that looks so great right now, the place I desire to be, and the people I want to be friends with, might not be the best for me—Man’s rejection (and life’s disappointment) sometimes, is God’s redirection to where He wants us to be.
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