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Will Sex Guarantee The Longevity Of a Relationship?

Updated: Aug 14, 2020

There are a lot of factors that come into play when determining the longevity of a relationship. You might have all your ducks in a row, and the relationship fails, or do all the wrong things and still find yourself with the same person, year in, year out. There is no cookie-cutter process to determine the success of a relationship, but for the Christian, there are certain practices that should be avoided when it comes to the topic of love, dating, and relationships, such as engaging in sex outside of marriage.

You might be someone who has toyed with the idea of not indulging in sex before marriage. You know it’s a good thing and you desire to honor God, but something conflicting is happening in your mind. You just met a person you like; you guys are vibing, he is tall, handsome, has a great smile, an incredible job. She is beautiful, has a body like Kim K, and is an influential person. They have fantastic personalities that anyone would give anything to be with them, but there is one issue: they are not looking to save sex for marriage. That concept is laughable and archaic at best for them. Are you living in the 1900s?

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They cannot understand why two consenting adults, can’t have a healthy sex life outside of marriage.

I like you a lot, and I am attracted to you, why can’t I express my undying love to you? They ask. They might even be Christians, but do not take the part of the Bible seriously which says—your body is not for sexual immorality. But how can one's expression of love be deemed immoral? You are now caught up in a dilemma. Who do you please: your God or your lover?

You see I have found myself at this crossroads many times. Where my faith butts head with what I perceive to be my love life. I am a hopeful romantic and want to be in love but sometimes what we feel is love, comes with a price. If you are not convicted enough in your walk with God, you tend to compromise in the end. And guess what? Some of the men and women still leave after you have given them your mind, spirit, and body. People leave relationships for many reasons after they have had sex with their partners. The reasons might range from being dissatisfied, to getting what they have always wanted and have now become bored. Or maybe they are just not feeling you any longer, who knows?

For some, if they remain with you, they start acting up. All of a sudden, they are too busy to answer your phone calls, the workload has dramatically increased at work, they need to spend more time with family, and whatever cock and bull story they can come up with, just to get you off their case. Then you are left feeling depleted than you originally started with them.

The purpose of sex

Sex was created by God for the enjoyment (and everything in between) for married couples. Sex is powerful, that is why it is meant for covenant relationships (marriage), where both parties have deeper commitments, rather than just the physical. Yes, I know marriages break down, people can still work away from you and so on for various reasons, but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t honor God’s word, as a believer. I have been on both sides of the spectrum, and have come to the realization, that choosing to honor God is a lot beneficial than choosing to honor myself (because let me not act like I don’t want it too) or somebody else.

This realization came after countless heartbreaks, verbal, sexual, and emotional abuses. I decided for myself that God’s way is better than my way. Plus no more pregnancy scares, STD scares, and unnecessary emotional ties. When you choose to honor God, He honors you back in return. It may not come in the form of a rewarding relationship, but it will show up in many different ways of your life. So, whether a relationship succeeds or people choose to leave after having sex with you, shouldn’t be a yardstick as to if you should honor God or not. Do the right thing regardless, and at the right time, God will settle you.

To answer the question posed in the title, there are some people who have had sex or are having sex in their relationships outside of marriage and seem to be doing good. But I am speaking from a Christian standpoint, and having experienced the downside of engaging in sexual activities outside of marriage, I would advise that people shouldn't.

Who agrees (or disagrees) with me? Let’s talk about it! Leave your thoughts in the comments section below, and also remember to like, share and subscribe, never to miss an update.

Don’t just stop here, click this link, to discover more of our relationship segment.

About The Author: Evi Idoghor is a Christian, writer, and content creator on She is also a chemical engineering graduate from the University of Louisiana at Lafayette. Consumed by her love for writing and desire to effect change, she launched her online platform to tap into her creativity and start meaningful conversations that would make a difference around the world.

Most of her writing has been influenced by her time spent in America, where she lived for about 11 years. Also, she has lived in Nigeria and South Korea and currently loves traveling the world while learning about other fascinating cultures. You can find her on all social media platforms with @eviidoghor.

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