Written by Evi Idoghor
Self-esteem is something most people struggle with at some point in their lives. It could be as a result of one single event or a plethora of minuscule circumstances that have now led to a demise in self-esteem. Insecurities also have a huge role to play in this struggle as well as the advent of the internet and social media which has made people around the world accessible creating countless opportunities for comparison to occur.
In today’s world, it is very easy for you to have low self-esteem. A lack of self-esteem might be a result of many things like; joblessness, singleness, and being over-weight. All these things and more can contribute to a person’s low self-esteem and lack of self-worth so to speak. When a person is suffering from this, it becomes very easy for them to settle for a job, a relationship, or even a friendship.
People with low self-esteem take whatever is being presented to them because they are afraid that nothing better would come their way. However, you can change that. In today's article, you are going to learn how to value yourself and boost your self-esteem.
Self-esteem is defined as the confidence in one’s own worth or abilities, according to Google.
A lack of it will indicate that a person isn't confident in their worth or abilities. I once suffered from self-esteem issues. Mine was tied to being single, jobless and purposeless, as a young woman in her mid-twenties. I graduated college with the possibility of job opportunities, but with nothing ever panning out in the end. Since the job thing was slow in coming, I decided to rack my brain about ideas I could bring to life—that will impact the society and also sustain my existence, however, I couldn’t come up with any.
Then I sank into somewhat of a depression.
Every peer that I met knew exactly what they wanted to do in life; they had jobs with fortune-500 companies and I always felt less than whenever I hung out with them. I dreaded the question “so what do you do?” I think this also affected my dating life because I felt I had nothing to bring to the table. As a result, I always took a trip back to the past in my mind—maybe if I had studied nursing or something else, I would have landed a job by now and become independent.
When I snapped back into reality, I soon realized that I possessed no power to change the past. Although if I wanted to change my future, I had to embrace the life God had for me, even if it didn't look like what I envisioned for myself. God makes no failures—for each creature He has ever made, there is a purpose. And as humans, we have the responsibility to walk in the purpose for which He created us.
To walk confidently in your life's purpose, you have to possess self-esteem. You have to be confident in your self-worth and the abilities God blessed you with. Just how well can you do that? See the points below.
1) First understand that you are not defined by your past or present circumstance: many people have what I like to call a tango relationship with their past. They keep going back and forth with what happened to them years ago; harboring enormous guilt and shame. Or maybe it is a present situation they are struggling with and don’t see any way out, then they turn into a recluse and give up on life completely.
News flash—no one will want to hang around people with a woe is me mentality. Life happens to the best of us and people are more attracted to those who don’t let their circumstances deter them. People who know how to pick themselves up and try again.
Those who have a hard time with this should adopt this Paul's mentality in the Bible that can be found in Philippians 3:13 —“No dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it yet, but I focus on this one thing; forgetting the past, and looking forward to what lies ahead.”
2) Realize that you are fearfully and wonderfully made: how many of you still deal with body image issues? My hands are totally up on this one. Social media has helped glorify a lot of things. I can't sign in on my page, without finding out about one fitness junkie or a woman who just gave birth and has gotten her abs back in three days! Especially if you are single, you might begin to think that you haven’t landed the man of your dreams because of your physical appearance.
That is a lie from the enemy. The Bible says that “physical training is good, but training for godliness is much better, promising benefits in this life and in the life to come.” I love this scripture for many reasons, but also because I hate working out (haha).
However, I hope you get the picture the Bible is trying to paint here—your confidence and self-worth shouldn’t come from the way you look rather it should come from how wonderful God created you to be. Look at this excerpt from the Book of Psalms (139.)
“You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb. Thank you for making me so complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in seclusion.
As I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. How precious are your thoughts about me, O God? They cannot be numbered.”
From this you can see how God made you with intentionality; He thought out every single intricate detail of your life before you came to be. Because of this, you should never let anyone, not even you, doubt how priceless you are.
”I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart, and appointed you as my prophet to the nations." God
3) Accept that you were appointed by God before you were ever created: God has a plan and purpose for everyone, which was predestined before we ever got on this planet. We should never let our self-esteem or worth be tied to a job title or description. I know we all want that title that makes us feel important so we can update our LinkedIn page or wear a badge of honor. So, maybe people can see us differently and accord us all the respect we think we deserve. However, there is more to life than human accolades.
True fulfillment is found when you are doing what you know you were created to do, which comes with ease—it might not be smooth sailing, however, you will have so much joy doing what God has called you to do. So if you haven’t figured out your purpose yet, spend time with Him and ask Him to reveal it to you—He will lead you to where you should be.
Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, Who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? 1 Corinthians 6:19
4) Remember that you were purchased with a high cost: God paid a high price for your salvation, just so when all this is said and done, you can spend eternity with Him. As such, before you go joining your life with people who aren’t worth it, remember Jesus died for you.
The Bible says that because of this act of love, you are no longer your own. You now belong to God. So, if any man is luring you into an illicit relationship, and you are considering it just because you feel lonely, lack self-esteem (and Valentine's day is around the corner); you belong to God and your body is now a temple and should be treasured as such.
This point reminds me of all these great temples around the world. There is one in particular that a lot of people visit in Thailand. When you get to those temples which are oftentimes viewed as sacrosanct, you enter there without shoes—walking in quietly, greeting with respect the monks you find there. Those places are usually sparkly neat and well taken care of. The people of that land place an enormous value on their temple, and even when foreigners come around they are led to honor the place as well.
That is how you should be with your body—first honor it, and then teach others to also treat it with respect.
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God loves you so much, and that should be the foundation that your self-esteem flows from. Do not let past or present circumstances steal your self-worth away. Focus on the future, build yourself in the process, and remember that you were fearfully and wonderfully made—let that confidence lead you throughout your life.
I hope you enjoyed this inspirational article today. Have you ever struggled with your self-esteem? Do you have a hard time making people treat you the way you should be treated? Have you ever thought about self-esteem from the angle of the word of God? Leave your thoughts below, and always remember to like, share and subscribe to never miss an update.
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Images used in this article are courtesy of Unsplash