Who else is sick of all the games people play these days? I will be the first one to put my hands up. When it comes to this thing called love/relationship, it shouldn’t be complicated. Love in its purest form is intentional and straight forward. Love should be backed up by actions; when you tell someone you love them, there should be something to show for it.
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John 3:16 says, for God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son, that whosoever should believe in Him, shall not perish, but have eternal life. So from this statement, we can see God backing up the love He has for humanity by sacrificing His only son. He gave something that was precious to Him to show that love.
Now speaking from a woman’s point of view, these days men know how to spit a lot of game, with no action whatsoever to show for it. Some will say—I like you a lot. Okay thank you, but what is there not to like? You like me, but to call me is wahala (a hassle). You like me, but communication on a regular basis is like pulling teeth. One guy had been telling me he liked me so much for months, but without anything to show for it. He wouldn’t call for days at a stretch, and when I try to reach out to him, he wouldn’t answer. One day I had to tell him he was not committed to me. I used his love for his job to illustrate my point.
Telling him— you love your job, you are so passionate about it, and you are committed to it. You don’t go to work on Monday and decide to sit three days out. If you do that, there might not be any job waiting for you when you return, except you have a darn good reason for your absence, and it better not be “my father’s aunty’s great-grandmother just passed.” We are all sick of the lame excuses. It’s the same thing when you apply it to a relationship, with someone you claim you like or love when you decide not to call me for a week, I know for a fact that you are not committed to what you claim you want to build with me. And he could not defend himself.
There is nothing mystical about being in a relationship; if someone is really into you, they will show you, period. I had to have a serious conversation with myself one day. I had to remind myself, that I had been in situations where guys pulled all the stops to show me they were interested. I didn’t have to beg them to call me; I didn’t have to contemplate hours before calling them, because of the fear that they may not pick up my calls.
I didn’t have to wonder if they liked me or not, because I knew they did from the way they showed me. So I had to stop buying into society’s way of doing things, I had to cut out all that noise about doing certain things to get a man’s attention, by playing certain games. I had to tell myself that if a man wanted me, there was nothing that could stop him from communicating his intentions towards me; it’s not that complicated, it’s easy.
Nowadays, some women have bought into the myth that they have to play their part to grab a man’s attention, even if they have a string of women attached to them. There is no true love within a person for you if they are busy entertaining other people and are not willing to let go of the ninety-nine, to chase the one. To them, you are just an option they can pick up and put back down anytime they want to. You are much more valuable than that. When you know your self-worth, you won't allow people to play games with you, you wouldn’t give up your time to those who are not worth it.
Why You Deserve Happiness
Your happiness begins with you. You have to love, honor, and respect yourself. If you don’t, no one will do that for you. Happiness comes from within when you finally accept yourself as the prized possession that you are, and are not willing to settle for anything less than what God has for you.
I remember an episode from friends, where Rachael was in a low place because she was in love with Ross and he had a girlfriend. Since she couldn’t be with him, she went back to some guy she dated in the past, who she knew made a pass at her friend, Phoebe. When Ross discovered she had gotten back with said guy, he pulled her aside and advised her to let go of the relationship, because he was no good for her. He said—you deserve to be with someone who wakes up every morning, and says, gosh! I’m with Rachael!
What happened to the days when guys were excited to be with you? Now, if they are talking to you, it seems like they are doing you a favor! What he said to her, pulled on my heartstrings because he just reminded her that she was valuable, and didn’t need to settle. She deserved to be with someone who honored and respected her; she deserved to be happy. I know this month can be a tough one for some who are not comfortable being single. My advice for you is that you should not settle, wait on God’s best, and He will blow your socks off!
What fun plans do you have for Valentine’s day, even if you are single? Leave your thoughts in the comments section below. Also remember to like, share, and subscribe, never to miss an update.
About The Author: Evi Idoghor is a Christian, writer, and content creator on Letstalknationblog.com. She is also a chemical engineering graduate from the University of Louisiana at Lafayette. Consumed by her love for writing and desire to effect change, she launched her online platform to tap into her creativity and start meaningful conversations, with one goal in mind; to redefine status quo.
Most of her writing has been influenced by her time spent in America, where she lived for about 11 years. Also, she lived in Nigeria and South Korea and currently loves traveling the world while learning about other fascinating cultures. You can find her on all social media platforms with @eviidoghor.