Pornography: The Dirty Little Secret

June 26, 2018

Gosh, this topic is one of the hardest issues to talk about, especially in the Christian community. People act like pornography isn’t a problem, but it is one of the silent killers. Like those odorless harmful gases such as carbon monoxide which quietly seeps into your system, mimicking oxygen and eventually kills you because your body can't tell the difference, that is how porn starts out "harmless" and then eventually destroys you!

 

 

What is pornography?

 

 

Let's begin by defining what it is; pornography can be described as the depiction of erotic behavior as in pictures or writing, intended to cause sexual excitement. (According to Merriam-Webster dictionary) Just from its definition, we can already see its intent. Pornography has been an age-old best-kept secret that has tormented many people for decades. Many try to break free, but it keeps sucking them back in. Porn has been proven to be destructive, even speaking from a non-Christian standpoint. No one is free to talk about it; I don't hear people say "hey if you see the porno movie I watched last night eh? It was so great!" well if you have such people around you, you should consider fleeing from them (haha, they have no shame).

 

 

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One misconception about pornography is that only men are addicted to watching porn. That is a lie; women are also addicted to it. According to an article I came across on bellanaija.com, "47% of Christians say they have a problem with pornography in their home, 72% of males visit pornography websites as do 28% of females. Also, the porn industry is larger than the combined revenue of Microsoft, Google, Amazon, eBay, Yahoo, Apple, Netflix, and EarthLink." From this statistics about the revenue that the porn industry generates, I can only deduce that at least, 50% of the world's population are porn consumers (I may be wrong).

I was once addicted to porn, and I was for many years, as long as I can remember. I was exposed to pornography as a little child, and there was something about that curiosity that caused me to keep going back. As I grew older, I hid this sin, this dirty little secret and the shame that I felt surrounding the issue. I could not open up to my mother as I feared that she would flip out, so I kept this dark secret for years. I was a prisoner to my lust and didn't know how to get free. It wasn't like I was watching porn 24/7, but there were seasons when it was horrible. After each click, I would cry out to God to forgive me and help free me from this sin, only to get roped in again a week later.

 

It was easier for me to tell people that I was having sex outside of marriage, but God forbid for them to know I was addicted to porn, let alone the kind of pornography I was watching. There was a void in me I was trying to fill; pornography forged a companion for me. I tried to quit on my own, but that didn't work. After my lousy relationship was over, I had this hunger and desire to get things right. I must have been doing something wrong all these years to keep coming up empty. So I began to read books on relationships and lust, I acquainted myself with videos of Christian couples who talked about how they chose to honor God with their single lives before they got together. Then just out of my sincere desire to honor and please God, God set me free. I haven't watched pornography in over three years, and the feeling is fantastic! I don't have to clean out my search history, out of the fear that someone may see it, I don’t have to lie to people why I wasn’t picking up my calls, because I was occupied with my sin and I don’t have to turn on the private mode on my iPad anymore to hide my sin. God freed me, and He can set you free as well if you are struggling with this hidden sin.

 

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As an avid watcher of crime shows (real-life documentary), I discovered that when the cops search the homes of suspects of murder or violent sex crimes, they almost always find pornography present in their homes. It isn’t only violent sex crimes where pornography is present. Even in cases of murder, porn seems to have its nasty roots deeply planted in the homes of the offenders, and I’ve always wondered what the correlation was.

 

People love to play off pornography like it isn’t a big deal. People have exchanged real connections and intimacy with real people for sexual fantasies that can never be satisfied by one real person. This is modern day slavery; young girls are being trafficked into this industry on a regular basis. It’s funny how we fight for human rights when it comes to “sex slavery” and prostitution, but turn a blind eye to the porn industry. It is the same thing, people get scouted from social media and strip clubs and the like, get thrown into this industry, and they start making money from this illicit contract.

Predators pose as model scouts and target these young girls who are about 18 years old or maybe younger and lie to them about getting them a modeling contract. These girls are mostly naïve and fall into the trap, just because they want to become the next big thing. They also ask them to send nude pictures, which can be possibly used for the modeling gig. Before they know it, they find themselves in some off location with people demanding that they do obscene things. And the young girls get threatened to carry out whatever is required of them, if not they stand the risk of their nudes being released and their parent’s possibly finding out. For that not to happen, they get sucked into this obscure life that they had no business with in the first place.

 

“For this sort are those who creep into households and make captives of gullible women, loaded down with sins, led away by various lusts.” 2 Timothy 3:6

 

These girls are often beaten and raped, they turn to drugs and alcohol to numb the pain, and some of them end up committing suicide. Don't let the theatrics fool you. Those people are in pain and need help. The more you click to watch, the more you create a demand for it, especially in the category you like to watch, so if you like watching just girls getting it on, then more girls would be found to indulge in such depravity. If you like watching "rape," then guess what? The more people would be raped and it being taped. This then leads to more brokenness in the society and more sex crimes and even murder. Not to talk about all the infidelity issues in relationships and marriages these days. It’s just a huge mess! Don’t you guys want a healthy home and a healthy society? I know I do.

 

"Righteous exalts a nation, but sin is a reproach to any people." Proverbs 14:24

 

One thing we have to understand is that lust never gets satisfied. You cannot watch porn one day and be free the next. The moment you open that door, it is going to be difficult to shut it. One day you get high off just watching a man and a woman having sex, the next day it's not as exciting. Now you want one man and two women; then you want one man and three women, then you don't even want to see a man again, then you start getting a kick out of a full-blown orgy, then who knows what will be next? I’ve been there. Hollywood actor Terry Crews, shared his struggles with pornography, he implied that it almost ended his marriage to his wife of over 20 years. He had to change for himself and then his family because it began to drive a wedge between them. He also shared that once this dirty little secret is exposed, it loses its power. Once you are bold enough to share with a loved one, or a friend saying "hey I'm struggling" or "hey I need help" that silent killer loses its power! Now you have people looking for ways to help you; there are people who will stop at nothing to see you free. You remember this adage that says "a problem shared is half solved."

 

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For instance after I shared with my friend about how these nasty rodents called rats were pestering my household and me, after I had done everything I could do to eradicate them, she came up with a solution that drove them away forever (well for about eight months now), but you catch my drift. You never know, you may speak to someone who once struggled with the same thing you struggle with and then got free. That kind of person would be of tremendous help.

Once your perspective on pornography changes, then you begin to see differently. Humans will no longer seem like things to be objectified. Once you realize that most of the girls (I’m not too sure about the men) are trafficked and blackmailed into this dark industry, then you wouldn’t want to have anything to do with them again (I know I did). When you put yourself in the shoes of the family member who doesn’t know that their loved one was forced into that lifestyle, and I’m sure you wouldn’t want your daughter, sister, mom, brother or anyone you know to be sucked in, you will want to expose the porn industry for what it is, a perversion of what God created sex to be.

 

"Pornography is the fuel that drives all sexual sin."

 

 

Demystified

 

 

Porn does nothing good for you; the industry is strategic as to how they run their business model, it is all about the $$$$ for them (if you knew that someone had a strategic plan, to take you out, would you still associate yourself with them? Hopefully your answer is no!)

Porn does not help your sex life; it desensitizes it. It takes away the passion and emotions God intended for you to have with your spouse during sex and reduces it to just performance.

Porn is unrealistic; no one person can satisfy your lustful desire. You will go out there (if you are not careful) and look for others to do so. You can ask people who have been addicted.

 

Don’t buy into the deception, Pornography is not worth it, it is an illusion, and people need to break free. I don't know how and where we can begin to fight this battle- Yes I said we because it is going to take a collective effort to eradicate this multi-billion dollar industry. Every little step counts, even if it's you who stops watching porn and talk about how you got free, it can cause a ripple effect. We need to get our society back, we need to get our young men and women back. We need a society made up of people who think clearly, we need a society made up of people who are righteous. Maybe just maybe, the world would become a better place to thrive in, maybe it's because of our sins, that is why we suffer the many atrocities that we do.

 

Pornography isn't normal; it is sex slavery, say no to pornography. I hope that even if one person sees this post, and begins to make changes in their life, then part of the purpose has been fulfilled. Let’s start this conversation, Let’s talk about it, Let’s say no to pornography! Leave your thoughts and comments below. xoxo

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