Eva sat watching the buzz around her. Everyone seemed to have something going on except for her. What was on with her though was the feeling of being out of place. It was now clear to her, in all the chaos, she absolutely did not belong there. And while that realization hit hard, she was glad the writing was on the wall finally.
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It was a night out with the supposed gang, and this apartment was the hub. Everyone was to meet there, and they ’d carpool to wherever they would be spending the night— drinking, dancing and playing catch-up. For some reason, she couldn’t bring herself to join in the fun. She would give anything at that moment to be away at her apartment or anywhere else, but not with these people at this minute.
That dimly lit living room reflected her inside. The darkest corner of the room was her place of comfort and a vantage point too from where she observed the five or six ladies who had arrived bringing with them so much noise— going about their business, laughing, getting dressed, and making up — just being happy and excited about the night out. The few guys were huddled up in some corner carried away by their conversation. All she heard was a buzz as she was not paying attention to anything in particular, only to how she felt. This for sure was not her crowd, and for someone who quickly adapted to her environment, tonight, that specific skill eluded her.
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Anyway, she listened and observed the party; with people trooping in and out, and couldn’t be bothered to remember their names after a brief introduction. It was certain after tonight; there was never going to be a follow-up, at least not from her end. The boyfriend sat at the dining table eating what his sister served him. The boyfriend – the reason she was there in the first place. They were in the same room but couldn’t be any further apart. She observed them all and let the noise drown her thoughts because for now; they were a little too dark.
Hours later, climbing in bed asking a million and one questions, no matter how she coined them, she didn’t belong there, and they didn’t belong together, at least not anymore. The boyfriend was fast asleep, a light snore coming from his parted lips. She turned and watched his beautiful face. In the past, she’d kiss him goodnight and cuddle up to him. Tonight like so many other nights in recent times, she couldn’t bring herself to kiss him, she couldn’t touch him.
She stared at his face hard and somehow knew it would be the last time she would do this. The last time she would look into his face when he wasn’t faking his expressions or when his eyes weren’t saying something else while his mouth uttered the opposite. It would be the last day he would lie to her again. He was beautiful, and he knew it, he was a good person in his own way, a tad arrogant. But in the end, what did that matter? He was not hers, and she wasn’t his.
So tonight, she watched him sleep, his face seeming innocent and she stopped the tears from falling. As she had learned early on in life— there was never any use crying over spilled milk. Turning around to the other side, Eva stared out the window and offered a little prayer for strength. There was no more rationalizing nor making concessions; tomorrow she will have the power to walk away. Her sanity depended on it.
Tomorrow came soon enough and Eva was numb to the proceedings. This was it; it was a bye forever. They would never hug nor kiss again, not as lovers at least. She had been burned and needed to redefine what love or being in love was. His definition had been all wrong for her. As she locked the door behind him one last time, she threatened to break but didn’t allow herself. Again— no point crying over spilled milk.
Laying there in her bed, she permitted herself to absorb it all. In her pain, she started dozing off when her phone buzzed. She instinctively knew who it was before glancing at it. Picking it up, Eva turned on the “do not disturb” application and put it away not answering, not tonight. Tomorrow will be here soon enough. Tomorrow, she would be strong enough to deal with this other part of her life, this newcomer that has awoken her. This fresh breath, giving her a new definition of friendship and love.
This beautiful mind that had her question everything about her and made her yearn for more. The callused hands that sparked a fire when they held her, rekindling her wants. This being, that made her come alive. She would start on that discovery, that journey, tomorrow. For tonight, Eva needs to continue on the road of letting go of her past, of forgetting her first in so many ways. Tomorrow will come soon enough.
What do you make of Eva's experience? most times we find ourselves in difficult situations, and are tempted to settle. If a situation is no longer conducive for you, don't be afraid to walk away. Love more short stories like this? Click this link to explore what our short story segment has to offer. Remember to like, share and subscribe, never to miss an update.
About The Author: Laetitia Moukouri is an experienced technical professional, writer and Editor-in-Chief at Letstalknationblog.com. She loves exploring people’s minds, through their written work, as she is a proponent for learning new things. You can connect with her on Instagram &Linkedin with Laetitia Moukouri.
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