A Tribute to my Dear Friend
It’s funny how we make our plans, not knowing what lies ahead of us. James 4: 13-15 says—“come now, you who say, today or tomorrow we will go to such and such city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit, whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that.””
The whole of last week had me thinking of how I was going to celebrate the one year anniversary of Mr. Perfect debuting on Bellanaija. I was so proud of that story, and wanted my new audience to enjoy the ride. Then Sunday evening I went to the movies with my aunt to watch the classic Living in Bondage (part 2) as many enjoyed the first part when it premiered 27 years ago. I thoroughly enjoyed the film, and even had ideas to write about it on here, and that was going to be my first ever Nigerian movie with a message. So I was excited about all of that; mostly because I would have content for the week.
Then my aunt’s phone kept ringing at the cinema while we were totally engrossed in the journey of Nnamdi Okeke, in his quest for riches; and she kept answering her phone (like a typical Nigerian does, while watching a movie) stating to everyone that she was at the cinema, watching living in bondage part two, (I did not know why she had to spell it out, haha) and would call them afterwards.
After our night out, we discussed the movie, and other trivial things I was dealing with, trivial now, in comparison to the news we were about to receive. When we got to my house, I quickly hopped out of the car, while she proceeded to call the lady that had been trying to reach her. So I went into the house to alert my cousin, that her mom was outside waiting on her, when I heard my aunt mutter these words—“is she still breathing?” already worried, myself and my cousin tried to figure out who was fighting for their life. For the life of me, I did not even think it was going to be you Lolia! Ah my sweet Lolia! How come? You were the last person on my mind; I thought it was someone older.
The wickedness that swirls around us, has me wondering to what end?
My sweet Lolia was just 34 years old and had been married for nine years with four amazing children. Lolia the last time I saw you, you were pregnant with your last and he is not yet two years old. I can’t begin to imagine the pain your husband, your mom, your siblings, your school and even the church are feeling right now.
You were such a blessing to all of us. Growing up in Port Harcourt and always being in each other’s homes was fun. Our mothers’ friendship caused all of us to become family. You guys were intertwined with my entire clan. When I texted Uzezi, asking who the person that passed away was, just because aunty wouldn’t agree to disclose it before they left, I followed that message up with asking if it was a relative, so I could prepare myself mentally and emotionally for the trauma, and she replied yes! You were family even if we weren’t related by blood.
Related Post: Dealing with an Unexpected Loss
I remember when you were pregnant with your 3rd and you said you were done, and will wear iron pant with a padlock, so that would stop you from getting pregnant again, haha! What silly conversations we used to have. Only for me to see you a few years later and you were pregnant again! Ah Lolia, who will care for your four kids like you? How will they come to terms with your passing? Even for many years to come?
It still feels like a nightmare, I can’t wait to awaken from. You loved God and the body of Christ immensely, so much so that you spent your last day in church. I have so many questions; what if you never gave those people a ride, would you have made it home safe? What if the people who picked you up with the ambulance didn’t abandon you in it, would you still be here? What if we had a system that works, would I be speaking with you, apologizing for the horrible experience you had to go through? So many what ifs and I still can’t believe you are no longer here. The tears just flow seamlessly down my face, if I am hurting this bad, what of your immediate family?
Everything finally came full circle for you guys; with mommy getting re-married after almost 34 years of losing your father, with aunty Boma finally getting that blessing in the form of her daughter, after 10 years of being married, and we were all rejoicing a couple of months ago, now this? How do you go from extreme joy to extreme sorrow? I can’t understand this.
I remember when you were sharing your relationship journey with me, and you said--“Evi you cannot marry an unbeliever oh.” Then I thought the advice was a bit outrageous, because I kept surrounding myself with men who didn’t love God, but now I totally get it. Your husband was a blessing to you and your kids, what an amazing nine years you were able to enjoy with him. Trust that I wouldn’t let you down. Ah! my heart breaks for big aunty! My heart breaks for your partner in crime; aunty Soton. My heart breaks for your dear husband, and those little kids? Don’t worry about them; They will be well taken care of.
Jesus knows best. After all it is written; "but I do not want you to be ignorant, brethen, concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who sleep in Jesus." Thank God for that hope in Christ Jesus. We will see you again, I know you are good, it just hurts so badly.
My sweet sister, now it’s time for you to rest from all your labors. Enjoy time with the Father until we see you again. We love you, we miss you and we will get through this.
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About The Author: Evi Idoghor is a Christian, writer, and content creator on Letstalknationblog.com. She is a chemical engineering graduate from the University of Louisiana at Lafayette. Consumed by her love for writing and desire to effect change, she launched her online platform––Let’s Talk Nation––to tap into her creativity and start meaningful conversations that would make a difference around the world.
Most of her writing has been influenced by her time spent in America, where she lived for about 11 years. Also, she lived in Nigeria and South Korea and currently loves traveling the world while learning about other fascinating cultures. You can find her on all social media platforms with @eviidoghor.