No wonder she didn’t want Fisayo to drive me to Houston, no wonder she didn’t want Fisayo to come help me out with my flat tire, and insisted that she would get someone else to come switch it out for me. No wonder she didn’t make it to the wedding, because she could not bear to see I and Fisayo together. No wonder she wasn’t her jovial self at the get together I had at my house one time, when me and Fisayo where dancing to our own beat. No wonder she started taking her time to dress up and applying the same type of purple mac lipstick I had; the struggle to be like me, was real. I must really be underestimating myself; there must be greatness in me.
Image courtesy of Unsplash
No wonder, she turned down my offer to come with me, Fisayo and my friends to a water theme park, saying she was busy, no wonder Fisayo knew I didn’t finish my antibiotics dosage, because it was alleged she came to my house and saw that the medication was still full and went back to inform Fisayo. No wonder Fisayo always asked me these funny questions about my body count, I mean I was no saint, but I wasn’t a harlot either. No wonder Fisayo knew I told Stacey about the STD; Stacey was at her house when I called her, and probably told her about it; thinking she was my friend, and there was no possible connection between her and Fisayo so he wouldn’t find out about it anyway. The list is endless, she was all behind it. She just wanted to tarnish my image so bad, so Fisayo could leave me for her.
Fisayo came back to my apartment with my keys, and we went in together. I asked him to show me all their messages on Facebook, and he showed me a snippet. I was called dumb, fat, lazy, and every word in the book. Only God knows what I did to them both, to be rewarded that way. I loved, cared for and gave Fisayo whatever he needed from me. I could sacrifice friendships and family for him if that was what he wanted. All I wanted at that time was to be in a relationship with Fisayo, and it landed me at a low place, I hit rock bottom when I realized it was all a lie. My relationship was built on a lie, it carried on, on a lie and it eventually crashed when the truth panned out.
I heard a knock on my door, and three of my friends (Stacey, Naomi, and Eileen) let themselves in with Lola, while I was in a middle of my interrogation with Fisayo. That was when I lost it! “What is Lola doing in my house I asked so angrily, Lola should get out of my house!” The pillows I had in my hands I threw them at whoever was in front of me, while Naomi ran towards me to hold me, and dragged me into my bedroom, where I just collapsed on the floor and let it all out.
I was sobbing “what did I ever do to them to deserve this? I was good to them.” Naomi held me and fought back her tears. Eileen told Fisayo to get out, and they tried to resolve the issue. Eileen and Stacey were of the opinion that I had known Lola for eight years, and if I wanted to throw away an eight-year relationship over a six-month rendezvous with Fisayo.
My response was Lola already threw that relationship away the moment she started sleeping with Fisayo. Then they wanted to show me the messages and videos between Fisayo and Lola, while Lola was screaming in the living room, that Fisayo brainwashed her. I wasn't interested in seeing any exchange between them, because I reasoned that, if Fisayo did not rape Lola, then we had no case there. They were both guilty in my court, well one with parole and the other without the possibility of parole. I began to see clearly.
Everything started making sense; there was a short period when Lola and I weren't communicating, and I attributed that to her being busy or going through some personal turmoil. I always had it at the back of my mind to reach out to her to find out if she was okay, but I never got around to doing it because I was going through hell myself in my relationship.
I also noticed that after church on Wednesdays and Sundays, she didn't hang around anymore to gist with my friends and me, it was as if she was always rushing off to do something. She no longer hung out at my house; she took back her house keys from me, and tried to avoid an encounter with me at all costs. All of this behavior, I took note of before I was privy to the information that she was the other woman in me and Fisayo’s saga.
The Boy is Mine
“You need to give it up, had about enough, it's not hard to see, the boy is mine, I’m sorry that you, seem to be confused, he belongs to me, the boy is mine.” While writing this story, I couldn't shake Brandy and Monica's 90's hit song out of my head. Two females fighting over a man is something that dates as far back as the bible. I will never put myself in that position again to try to get a man back, by fighting off females, if it ever gets to that, I will make the decision very easy for the man and remove myself from it.
Well you guessed that right; I was willing to give Fisayo another chance. Guys this love thing is no joke oh, I know Oprah swears by a quote by Maya Angelou which says “when people show you who they are, believe them.” But I was in denial; I still wanted things to work, I even texted Lola the next day, telling her that I had forgiven her (ha! Only if I knew how long it was going to take for that to finally be true), just because I wanted to move on with Fisayo, to which she bluntly replied that she didn’t need my forgiveness.
Then it became a tug of war; I wanted her to give him up so I could sail into the sunset with my not so prince charming. Everyone told me to break things off with him, but I refused. I lost a whole lot of weight in that period; I was depressed and wasn’t eating. I ran to my church for help. I kept on praying for God to change the situation, I hated that it happened, but I didn’t want to lose Fisayo in the process.
I remember one time my pastor was preaching in church and he said: “God is not going to bless your mess.” Deep down I knew that word was for me, no matter how I wanted to spin things around with Fisayo, God’s stamp of approval wasn’t going to be on it.
I booked an appointment to meet with my pastor, and she was so happy I came to her. I explained everything, and she empathized with me, but without failing to point out the fact that I was living in sin, and just ate the fruit of my actions. Ouch! It hurt to hear the truth, sometimes or most times or maybe all the times; God does not punish us for our sins, we just reap the consequences of our actions. She then advised for me to let things go with the both of them and try to move forward with my life. Anytime she saw me after that; she gave me a huge bear hug saying “Evi, please tell me you are doing okay.” It was such a trying period in my life.
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About The Author: Evi Idoghor is a Christian, writer, and content creator on Letstalknationblog.com. She is a chemical engineering graduate from the University of Louisiana at Lafayette. Consumed by her love for writing and desire to effect change, she launched her online platform––Let’s Talk Nation––to tap into her creativity and start meaningful conversations that would make a difference around the world.
Most of her writing has been influenced by her time spent in America, where she lived for about 11 years. Also, she lived in Nigeria and South Korea and currently loves traveling the world while learning about other fascinating cultures. You can find her on all social media platforms with @eviidoghor.