Written by Evi Idoghor
In a recent interview with Howard Stern, pop star Billie Eilish revealed pornography destroyed her brain. When it came to sex, it tainted her ability to make sound decisions. As a result, she was willing to accept whatever was thrown her way. And for someone who was once a supporter of this “form of entertainment,” she has now concluded that it is disgraceful.
It's widely assumed that pornography is primarily a “men's thing,” meaning that it's a secret addiction, habit, or sin that is only associated with men. People who are close to them, such as their girlfriends and family members, are not aware of their relationship with porn because it has a shameful connotation attached to it. For this sole reason, they continue to struggle with this destructive habit for years on end, unable to break free, eventually bringing it into their long-term committed relationships such as marriage.
Men, on the other hand, are not the only members of the human species who have a thriving relationship with pornography. According to covenanteyes.com, “approximately one in every five women (18 percent) uses the internet for sexual purposes on a regular basis—at least once a week.” An additional study carried out in a European country revealed that 17 percent of women considered themselves to be addicted to pornographic material. Because the pornographic industry has worked so hard to normalize its services, most people are unaware of the negative consequences that pornography can have on its consumers, their relationships with others, their families, and even their professional lives.
Marriage is considered a sacrosanct covenant because it involves two people making a commitment to God, to each other, to their families, and to society, while also acknowledging that they intend to remain in their union for the foreseeable future. Therefore, both parties are expected to protect their union from anything that has set out to cause havoc, such as adultery, outside parties, financial mismanagement, and even pornography!
Pornography is one of the most underrated third parties in relationships and marriages, to the point where couples will use it together to spice up their sex lives to make it more interesting. Pornography, on the other hand, is slowly but steadily destroying most marriages without the parties involved even realizing it. A comparison can be made between pornography and carbon monoxide, which is also known as the silent killer.
When carbon monoxide is inhaled, it inhibits hemoglobin (due to its higher affinity for it), which is responsible for delivering oxygen to the body's tissues through the bloodstream. After being exposed to high concentrations of carbon monoxide, the body's ability to function properly is compromised, and suffocation can result if the situation is not addressed immediately. What's the worst part? The person who is being harmed is completely unaware that they are dying at a slow pace.
Pornography, in a similar vein, replaces the intimacy of sex in marriages with lustful desires and fantasies that no one person can fulfill, and can lead to the dissolution of a marriage over time if left unchecked.
The following are three reasons why you should stay away from pornography:
Pornography is a sin : let's call a spade a spade on this one. Pornography is not a tool to increase intimacy or enjoyment in your sex lives as married couples, rather it is sinful. With the introduction of the internet and social media, porn has become increasingly accessible to people of all ages. Today's over-sexualized culture has led some to regard porn as a rite of passage, or as something adults do on occasion, like how some view social drugs.
As a result, many people fall victim to its antics. Even regular movies, television shows, and music videos these days are replete with nude women and sex scenes that are “soft” porn like. The use of sexually explicit content on social media platforms in exchange for money is becoming increasingly popular, with women becoming millionaires (in dollars) as a result.
“Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?” —1 Corinthians 6:18-19 (NKJV)
We can infer from this scripture that, as Christ-followers, we have no business engaging in pornography because it is designed to elicit pleasure in an individual, which then triggers them to want to engage in sex or pleasure themselves if there is no one available to satisfy that desire. The fulfillment of some of these desires can result in violent sex crimes such as rape or depraved abominable acts such as bestiality. Couples who are married are the only ones who should be able to incite sexual desires in their spouses and explore them in whatever healthy manner they choose.
It places unrealistic sexual expectations on your partner: Sex, like marriage, is considered sacred. Pornography transforms sex from something sacred, holy, and of God into something filthy and performance based. Whoever the addicted party is, they expect their partner to sometimes engage in demeaning acts just to satisfy their wildest fantasies. Sex transitions from a loving expression to a dark and berating act. When one party has had enough, they stop engaging (as they should), and the other one steps outside their marriage to satisfy their insatiable thirst for lust, rather than taking a step back, listening to their partner, and seeking the desperately needed help.
It is addictive: There is no such thing as viewing porn once. You only fool yourself if you tell yourself that this will happen only once. This is due to the fact that the flesh is never satisfied. I've previously discussed how I was addicted to pornography for over ten years in previous articles. However, I have been porn-free for about six years, and one of the reasons (amid many) I haven't returned to it is that I understand that if I return to viewing porn, it will quickly become a vicious cycle that will be difficult to break free from.
There were countless times when I “quit porn,” only to return moments later. Especially on days when you are bored or feel lonely, those thoughts come into your mind, and if you don’t fight them off, it will be very easy for you to keep indulging in this sexual sin. How did I get over my addiction? It was through Christ's power. I read a book about Christian dating and relationships in which the author addressed the issue of porn in a series of books. I also came across videos of women who were trafficked into the porn industry and forced to stay against their will. They explained that the more people bought and watched porn, the more of a market it created, and the more people were scouted for the job—the majority of whom were young women in their late teens.
Furthermore, drugs, alcohol, and murders (that is, women killing their pimps and vice versa) were co-partners in this multi-billion-dollar industry, and as such, I had no desire to contribute to the pain of women; even some men who are trapped in the industry. God used such information to deliver me from an addiction that began when I was 12 years old.
Pornography is not beautiful; it is abusive, deceptive, and contradicts God's design for sex and marriage. Because of pornography, many people have ended up in same-sex relationships, many have identity crises, many have committed murders, many have molested children, and many have experimented with bestiality. The media would never bring up these troubling links to the porn industry because they only want to feed you the dark narrative that it will “improve your sex life.”
So, if you are struggling to break free from this problem, there are countless resources online that are designed to assist people who are addicted to pornography in breaking free. Find the one that is best for you; better yet, if you are a part of a church community, open up to trusted people; you might be surprised at how many people have been where you are. Above all, pray to God, and He will guide you to the right place and people to start your healing process.
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