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Situationships: Our Little Dysfunction (Pt.4)

Updated: Jan 6, 2021

Jidenna and I continued our situationship; he always stopped by to see me on his way to or from work. He traveled a lot for work, so when he broke his trip, he used that as an opportunity to see me. But nothing was defined between us, I wanted more but wasn’t bold enough to ask for what I needed from him. We will often hook up, and then I wouldn’t hear again from him for weeks. I was tired of the vicious cycle but still did not want to be alone. Half bread is better than none; right? In the midst of all of that, Peter started calling me to ask for forgiveness. Apparently, he had gotten an epiphany and realized he didn’t treat me right.

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I had to start ignoring his phone calls, but the guy no let me see road. He always called to say he was sorry, and I should forgive him. Honestly, I had forgiven him; I was no longer brooding over him. He wanted back in my life, but I had moved on, even if the situation I moved on to, wasn’t any better. Jidenna often ignored my calls for days; it was as if I was a pest to him. Then his birthday came around, and he asked me to invite my friends to his party. I told my girls about it, and we were all excited to make that trip.

Fast forward to the event; everyone was having a good time and dancing until I spotted Jidenna, all up on another girl. I was so embarrassed. Not because he did that, but because he did that in front of my friends. When I couldn’t take it anymore, I walked up to him and asked him what exactly was going on. He answered saying that they were just dancing. After the party, I still went back home with him. Looking back, half of the things I did for guys in the past, I will dare not think of repeating them now. I must have been in a low place, to allow all the disrespect that happened, but the worst of them all was brewing on the back burner, which changed my perspective on not only relationships but life in general, forever.

So we carried on with our back and forth for months. He only contacted me when he saw me and wanted something. I always indulged him, even if I knew exactly what he was doing. I was secretly hoping he would change, and pour out all his love on me. But there is only so much of this someone can take. When the New Year rolled around in 2014, I promised myself that I was over Jidenna, and will wait for what the year had to offer me. Then Peter resurfaced, he showed up at my house and was professing love to me. He promised to be a better man and would treat me right. After much pressure, I agreed to be his girlfriend, on the grounds that no sex will happen before marriage.

He accepted, and I wasn’t still thrilled about finally having someone ask me to be their girlfriend. The next day I had planned to see him, but I canceled last minute. I wasn’t feeling the guy at all. My spirit wasn’t bearing witness with his spirit; I said to a concerned friend when she asked why I didn’t want him anymore. So I went from one day saying: yes I will be your girlfriend, to the next day saying: I am sorry, I am no longer interested in a relationship with you. My heart still wanted Jidenna. Yes oh! that same Jidenna, I could not stand in the beginning.

That same guy who’s broken English turned me off. That same guy who I didn’t tell I was traveling out of the country for two months so that he could be off my case. Now I wanted to be with him; my heart was yearning for him. Then I found out that someone had a baby for Peter, around the same time he was asking me to be his girl. Then calculating months before, he was sleeping with his baby mama, around the same time he was sleeping me. No wonder he never took me to his house. Although there is nothing wrong with a child, I didn’t want to be involved in any baby mama drama, that is if he was even single.

Image courtesy of Pexels

Jidenna and I then had one last encounter in February of 2014, and after that, I was done for real. I couldn’t deal with the uncertainty of our relationship anymore. I hardened my heart against him and moved forward. I thought all my relationship woes were over. Who could be worse than Fikayo; the UK guy who screamed at me, and rushed me on to the next thing smoking to Birmingham, or Segun; the friend turned lover then enemy or Peter; the one who only took me to 2-hour motels. I mean what could get worse than that? My thoughts, while I was picking myself back up, to focus on 2014 and its possibilities.


Then in April, one sunny day, Eileen, a friend of mine decided to have a birthday party and invited a group of guys who were on training from Nigeria. We were all excited about the possibilities of meeting new people. Ah! If only I knew what was going to happen, I could have stayed back home that night. During that party, I met and fell for Fisayo (not FiKayo oh), who would change the trajectory of my life forever, which taught me; All that glitters is not gold—My Fourth Lesson.

To read about this story click this link: Revisiting Ground Zero (New Chapter)

We have come to the end of the Situationships series. I hope you enjoyed this short story series. This is a prelude to the Revisiting Ground Zero Series, which talks about my journey with Fisayo and all the mess I dealt with. Then the Mr. Perfect Series carries on after Revisiting Ground Zero. Sit back and enjoy all the short stories, we have to offer.

Have you ever been in a situationship? what did you do to get out of it? share your experiences with us below. And if you want us to share your story, send us an email, on Also remember to like, share and subscribe, never to miss an update.

About The Author: Evi Idoghor is a Christian, writer and content creator on She is a chemical engineering graduate from the University of Louisiana at Lafayette. Consumed by her love for writing and desire to effect change, she launched her online platform––Let’s Talk Nation––to tap into her creativity and start meaningful conversations that would make a difference around the world.

Most of her writing has been influenced by her time spent in America, where she lived for about 11 years. Also, she lived in Nigeria and South Korea and currently loves traveling the world while learning about other fascinating cultures. You can find her on all social media platforms with @eviidoghor.

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