Written by Evi Idoghor
Heartbreak sucks! What's even worse? When it happens unexpectedly. The person on the receiving end has been caught off guard by the turn of events and has been left to pick up the pieces of their broken heart. At this point, many questions arise, such as: did I do something wrong? Is there someone else? People start making up crazy scenarios in their heads to figure out why things turned out the way they did with the person they thought they'd sail into the sunset with.
Relationship outcomes are sometimes unpredictable, regardless of how good the relationships appear to be. The end of a relationship, especially one with few issues, is never easy to navigate. While I don't have all the details about why my relationship ended abruptly, I do know how I got through that trying time in my life. If you are dealing with a heartbreak, the following are some of the things that helped me move forward:
Stick to God’s word: According to the Bible, the Lord is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18). During my time of heartbreak, the Bible was a great source of comfort to me. I found solace in it, and it gave me the strength to accept things as they were and to start moving forward. I also spent a lot of time praying, asking God to strengthen my heart, to help me see myself the way he saw me, and to take away the pain.
Scriptures like Isaiah 61:1-3 (“he has sent me to heal the broken-hearted…to comfort all who mourn, to console those who mourn in Zion, to give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness…) helped me deal with the intense pain and dread I was experiencing. I couldn't have gotten over the loss of that relationship if God hadn't been by my side.
Don’t beat yourself up: It's fine if someone decides they don't want to be with you anymore. It simply demonstrates that they are not your life partner. Don't beat yourself up for something you have no control over, and don't try to make things work, especially if they refuse to provide any reasonable explanations for why they don't want to be with you. Learn from your experience and leave with your dignity intact.
Make the most of the people around you: God has blessed us with friends and family, and they can be a great source of support when we face difficulties in life. My family refused to let me be alone, while my friends bombarded me with phone calls to make sure I was okay. Some took me out to lunch, while others spoke words of encouragement to me. Having the right people in your corner will help soften the blows that life throws at you from time to time - make sure you are not going through life alone.
Focus on your purpose: When we are in relationships, we tend to put the things that are important to us on the back burner or keep them at bay. It is unhealthy for us to make our partners the center of our existence. Some people withdraw from family, church communities, and friends. If this describes you, now is the time to resume living your life. What is it that God has called you to do? What was your burning desire? When was your last visit to family or friends? Focus on these things.
Stop crying over spilled milk: There is a time to cry and mourn, but there is also a time to dry your tears and move forward. The person who walked away (while painful) is not the one who gives your life value. Understand that the relationship ended for a reason; for some people, God may have intervened in that way because it was not his desire for you to marry your ex - but that doesn't make your ex a villain for leaving. So, instead of crying over what has been lost, give thanks for what has occurred and begin the healing process.
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