Updated: May 4
If you are single, you probably look forward to the day that you’d go on a date after however how long. Your phone rings, and it is the guy you have been day-dreaming about. You are all excited and pull yourself quickly together, so the person on the receiving end doesn’t feel the jitters. They go ahead and ask you out on a date, and you might want to form busy, but then again you like this person too much to front (assuming is someone you already know).
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Your mind wants you to hesitate for a second, but your heart says—girl! We’ve been waiting on this for a long time, no need for games, let’s cut right to the chase! You respond—alright girl, let’s do this! You go ahead to say yes! And you guys set it up. You start thinking about what you will wear; do you want to go sexy or casual chic? Do you want to kill them with your looks and then surprise them with your brains? You are nervous and excited at the same time, and the day of the date can’t come soon enough.
Some people get so carried away with how they want to present themselves, that they don’t take the time to figure out the questions that they need to be asking. I know, I know, it’s the first date! It should be light-hearted and fun. But I also believe in intentionality—having conversations on purpose, which can help you gauge where someone’s head is. Questions asked during a date are meant to be great conversation starters so you can begin to learn what the other person is about, because the dating period is when you get to know a person.
Without further ado, here are my Top 6 Questions to ask on a First Date (in no particular order):
What do you do for a living?—this helps you discover if Mr. Nice guy or Miss Pretty Lady is responsible or not. Do they have a job, what kind of job do they have, are they passionate about their work, or is it something in the interim, while they are on their way to building their dream. This question can also spark conversations about life’s purpose and the whole nine…remember you just want to have a good feel of who this person is.
Are you a Christian?—As a believer, it is important for me to be in a relationship with someone who also believes. This question also gives room for me to ask many more questions like: what church do you go to? do you serve in church? what do you believe God has called you to do? depending on how they answer this question and subsequent questions, then I know if we should proceed or not.
What do you do for fun?—I like to ask this question because I want to know if I can let loose and have fun with said person. I want to know if they are outgoing or recluse. There are many aspects that govern a relationship, and I believe fun is also important. If I can have a good belly laugh with you (plus many other things), then you are it! What is the point of a relationship if you can’t enjoy it with your partner?
Do you want kids?—some might say this is quite heavy for a first date; I beg to differ. This is a question that you can ask a random person. If you are a kid lover and you discover potential Mr. Right wants nothing to do with children, then there just might be no need for a second date. To the left, to the left.
Are you married?—In this day and age, we can’t afford to assume that anyone who asks us out on a date is available. This question is very necessary especially if you live in places like Lagos, or Houston (Don’t ask me why I chose these places). After you ask the question, if their answer is no, go ahead and do your due diligence. Get to digging, don’t take their no as bible, some might be looking for an outlet from their marriage; some are polyamorous, while some are in open relationships. We need to have these conversations so we know where everyone stands.
What are you looking to get out of this date?—some people might just want company for the night, and that is why they decided to hit you up, while some actually want to get to know you better and build towards something great. Again you have to ask these questions, so you know if you both are on the same page. If you both parties were lonely on a Saturday night, and just needed company, then great. But if one person has a different expectation, is has to be communicated.
These questions are just starters; you know something to break the ice. Something to get you both talking, and learning about each other. Dates should be light-hearted and fun, but without negating the importance of why you both are there in the first place. So as you are planning your outfits, hairstyles, perfume, jewelry, and so on, make sure you are also intentional about the kinds of conversations you guys would have.
So over to you guys! What are your top questions to ask on a first date? Leave your comments below. Also remember to like, share and subscribe, never to miss an update.
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About The Author: Evi Idoghor is a Christian, writer, and content creator on Letstalknationblog.com. She is a chemical engineering graduate from the University of Louisiana at Lafayette. Consumed by her love for writing and desire to effect change, she launched her online platform––Let’s Talk Nation––to tap into her creativity and start meaningful conversations that would make a difference around the world.
Most of her writing has been influenced by her time spent in America, where she lived for about 11 years. Also, she lived in Nigeria and South Korea and currently loves traveling the world while learning about other fascinating cultures. You can find her on all social media platforms with @eviidoghor.