Written by Evi Idooghor
I called my friend Stacey the next day and said, "ah! I don't think I'll be able to keep up with Fisayo's sexual appetite oh, I've never experienced anything like this before." She made fun of me. Fisayo became distant a week after our first sexual encounter. He barely made time for me, and when I complained, he blamed it on his busy schedule at work.
I began to wonder if he didn't enjoy the sex. I was angry with myself for going back on my word, even though I had promised God that my last encounter with my ex in February would be the last time I fornicated. So, I managed to keep my cool for a few days before sending him a message stating that we needed to talk.
When he agreed to set up a Skype call with me at a specific time, my heart began to tremble. I'd never confronted a boyfriend in this way before, and I was worried because I didn't know how he'd react to my dissatisfaction. When evening arrived, I positioned my pillows behind my back and placed my iPad in front of me. My iPad then began to ring, and I answered Fisayo's call.
“Hey, how are you?” He said in a measured tone. “I am fine, how are you doing?”
“Good, good. So, what’s up?”
“I…I…noticed that you’ve been distant lately, and wanted to find out if there was any problem…”
“Well, I have been so busy at work, they are now requiring more hours of me, and I am struggling to keep my head above water. Because of that, I don’t think I can handle a relationship alongside with my responsibilities at work.”
My heart sank, and everything he said after that seemed unintelligible. What would I say to my friends? People I'd sent our photos to, and social media? Who terminates a relationship after only two weeks? When I tried to push back, he smirked and raised his eyebrows slightly. When I got off Skype, the tears flowed like a lazy river. I went from emotional to angry because I felt he had gotten what he wanted.
I texted Stacey and Ada the following morning. They arrived at my apartment almost immediately. “What happened?” Ada asked, as she sat next to me. Stacey stood afar us, watching. “Fisayo broke up with me last night.” “Wahala!" Stacey replied, “Wetin happen now? All these men sef!” After recounting the story to them, Stacey replied, “this one na embarrassment oh! What are you going to do now?” “Let us pray,” Ada interjected. They both held my hands and we prayed.
At the time, Fisayo had taken over my prayer life. My conversations with God were mostly about how I wished for him to excel at what he did, how I wished for him to grow closer to Christ, and how I wished for us to be together forever. As a result, I prayed fervently to God to bring us back together, because, I desperately desired my life with Fisayo.
After another two weeks, Fisayo showed up at my apartment. We'd been talking sporadically and toying with the idea of reuniting. We exchanged pleasantries before he sat on my couch. “So, we can get back together, but I won’t have your time oh! If you are okay with that, then that’s fine.” I pledged my allegiance to me and Fisayo without even thinking about it - I mean, a relationship where you are promised slim to none chances of attention is preferable to telling the entire world that you were dumped after two weeks abi?
I went to my friend Lola's apartment one day. We lived in the same apartment complex, but her apartment was in the back and mine was in the front. Although it was a short walk from my house, I would drive down there on occasion. It wasn't a long distance, but she wasn't my next-door neighbor. So, that day, Stacey, Eileen, and I were hanging out when Lola said to me, “I met some of the new guys who came into town.” “Really?” I replied, she nodded, “I like Stacey’s guy, but I haven’t gotten a chance to meet your boyfriend yet or spend time with him.”
“Don’t worry, you will. I will let him know you want to meet him.”
“Okay,” she replied, “remember to take things slow, don’t jump into bed with him, and always ask the Holy Spirit for guidance.” Oops! Her advice arrived a little late. I was certainly jumping into bed with Fisayo, and I wasn't seeking guidance from God's spirit on how to navigate the relationship. She eventually met Fisayo at another social gathering.
I was ecstatic when Fisayo told me he was coming over one day. When he made time for me, I was always delighted. So I made his favorite meal, porridge beans and plantains, and waited for him to arrive. Then the time passed when he said he would get to my place, but being African, I didn't give it much thought. Then hours passed again, and I became irritated - why was he doing this? Keeping me waiting as if my time didn't matter. He eventually arrived late, and when I opened the door, I went back to sit. He shut the door behind him and began to yell. “What is wrong with you?!?” “Why are you shouting?” I replied, “you don’t know how to take care of a man! I come in, and you are just sitting there, you did not hug me, or try to make any move on me!”
I started fidgeting because I hated it when he picked a fight with me. Fisayo was 6ft tall, athletic, and dominant, with a deep voice. After his rant, I stood up, went to hug him, and began making sexual advances toward him. I'd never felt so awkward and small in my life. We sat down after I got him to calm down and he said, "you need to improve your bedroom skills; in fact, talk to your friends and let them tell you how they take care of their men. "I held my gaze with him as he continued, “you know what? Don’t tell them anymore, I don’t want my business out there.”
I nodded, and he took his phone from his pocket, played a video, and said, "See this. Look at how the woman is acting and how she reacts to what the man is doing. "Please watch this video and learn from her." “Okay, send them to me.”
The next day, I called Stacey, and another friend to ask for advice. They said, “buy lingerie, rose petals and candles. A day before we leave for Puerto Rico, invite him to come over and give him a treat.”
“Let us go to the mall, since we need bathing suits for our trip,” the other friend insisted. So, off to Victoria Secret we went, we bought our bathing suits, and I shopped for something extra – lingerie.
The day before our girls' trip, I texted Fisayo and told him I had a surprise for him, which got him excited. Lola suggested we go see a movie at the theater a few hours before Fisayo would arrive. I concurred. "Lola, let's go, let's go!" I hurried after the movie. It had begun to rain heavily by this time. As I began to drive, I nearly ran a red light, Lola said, “calm down oh! I hope you are not planning on going to his house this night.” Laughing, I replied, “no, I am not, he is the one coming over.” “Good,” she replied, “remember to take things slow oh!” I nodded.
Lola was like a big sister to my group of friends; she always welcomed us into her home, and I had a key to her apartment because that was where I did my laundry - in fact, she would do my laundry and text me when it was finished. I looked up to her and admired her determination to succeed. She was seven years my senior, so she was always looking out for me – for all of us.
I dropped her off at our apartment and dashed to my apartment to set up the scene. Then I realized I didn't have a lighter to light the candles. I dashed back downstairs, jumped in my car, and drove to the gas station next to our apartment building. I returned home after purchasing a lighter from the convenience store. I lit all the candles that led up to my bedroom from my apartment's entrance. The rose petals were then arranged in a heart shape on my white cotton sheets. I put on my lingerie and dialed his number.
Fisayo did not answer the phone. I called and called, waited, then called again, and so on until I was exhausted. I blew out all the candles, threw the rose petals on the floor, collapsed on my bed, and sulked until I passed out. My ringtone jolted me awake, and I saw his name flash across my screen – it was 3 a.m. “Fisayo,” I said in a sleepy tone. “Come and open the door for me.” I staggered to the door and opened it.
He greeted me with a smile and took my hand in his. “I am sorry babe, I had to go into work last minute, because of the bad weather and I told myself that I must come and see you since you are traveling today.” Just then I melted like wax in his arms, and we had sex that morning. At 6 am, he had to leave to go and get ready for work. “Safe journey to San Juan,” were his parting words to me. “Safe journey? Wouldn’t you talk to me again? We are flying out of Houston tomorrow.” “Okay then, we will talk later.”
Even though we had only been together for three hours, I felt empty on the inside. I wondered why my relationship was different from my friends' who were married or engaged; they seemed to have landed responsible men who loved them, but here I was, walking on eggshells around Fisayo so I didn't set him off, spending most of our free time alone, because he couldn't be bothered with me. When we weren't physically together, there was almost no communication between us. And when we were physically together, it was all about sex.
Catch up with previous parts below:
Twists and Thorns is a retelling of my first short story series published on this platform five years ago. On the 5th anniversary of this blog, I have decided to bring back story telling. Two parts will be published weekly in keeping with the video story series I will publish on Instagram. Buckle up, its going to be a great ride! I hope you enjoy this series.
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