We have finally come into the month of love! Can you all believe it’s February already? In about two weeks from now, social media will be filled with pictures and videos of people showing what their loved ones got or did for them. If you are single like me, this may feel a little depressing, with you looking up to the heavens and screaming: ‘God when is it going to be my turn?’ Okay, that is a bit dramatic, but you get my drift. So if you are not yet boo’d up, and you are looking forward to the day you will mutter these words ‘I do,’ then this post is for you! We still have time to gather the necessary skills to choose the best partner for us. Not just a life partner, but a purpose partner.
Image courtesy of Unsplash
A life partner might mean to many just someone they get to do life with for the rest of their lives. They both might be in separate career fields (ain’t nothing wrong with that), they might just be going through the motions and raising their kids (as most of our parents did), but there is more to a marriage than that. When two people come together, it is for a particular purpose. You both choose each other and choose to conquer the world together. You both should have a vision for where you want to go in life, and if you are Christians, then there will be some kingdom building project that has to take place. So make sure you choose wisely.
‘Can two walk together if they don’t agree?’
This famous quote is taken out of Amos 3:3 in the Bible. If you are on different pathways in life, you will keep butting heads. You and your partner will not see eye to eye on certain things. You both will begin to question each other's motives, and this will put a strain on the relationship. You need someone you can build a legacy with, raise a godly family with, and put up a united front to face whatever may come your way. Do not be carried away by the fact that you are still single and then settle for less. Settling will lead to a lifetime of unhappiness.
There are people wishing they can have an opportunity for a do-over, that opportunity that you and I have now. Let’s not take it for granted.
As you continue to grow and mature, there are certain unique qualities of a spouse you now look out for. For example:
1) Is that person responsible? Responsibility goes a long way in a relationship. That will determine if your partner can provide for you and your future home financially. You have to evaluate the person or situation before you jump in headfirst. No one wants a liability.
2) Is that person goal-oriented? You need to know what vision the person has for their life and how you fit into the grand scheme of things. Do they have plans for their lives? What are their dreams and desires? Your partner might want to pack up and go to another country and live as a missionary, and maybe that is not where God is leading you. Although they are doing a noble thing, it is not just for you. So you have to make sure you are not compromising your beliefs and vision to be with someone because it will make you miserable.
3) Are they passionate about the same things you are passionate about? Some might think this not to be important, but it is. I know you will never find someone who will match everything you want 100%, but there is this 80-20 rule that is floating around which proves to be true. For example, I love children, I am passionate about them, I can’t wait to have them, and I can’t wait to do amazing work for those who are displaced from society. My husband has to share that passion with me because it is something that will require both our sacrifice.
I can’t say I want to help children, and my husband is saying he doesn’t want me to do that. That is why we have to have important discussions about our passions and desires before we commit. Now, there are other things that might be unique to me or to him, that is where the 80-20 rule comes into place. As long as you both agree on the majority of the things you want to accomplish, then the rest can be handled with wisdom.
4) Are they Kingdom Minded? As Christians, God has placed a unique call on each of our lives. He has called us to build His church and make disciples of all men. If you are a believer, who believes this mandate, it is imperative that you join your life with someone who believes the same way, if not they will hold you back.
While love, romance, flowers, and countless dates are exciting, we also have to place purpose in the midst of all of that. Purpose gives our lives meaning; we are excited to wake up each day because we have a sense of purpose, we are contributors to society and are making a difference in whatever capacity we can. The worse thing that can happen to any human on this planet is joining your life to someone, who will take that purpose away from you.
Next time, when a potential partner approaches you, ask them what their purpose is!
So what is your purpose? How well will you want a partner to fit into that vision? Leave your thoughts in the comments section below. Also remember to like, share and subscribe, never to miss an update.
Don’t just stop here, click this link, to discover more of our relationship segment.
About The Author: Evi Idoghor is a Christian, writer, and content creator on Letstalknationblog.com. She is also a chemical engineering graduate from the University of Louisiana at Lafayette. Consumed by her love for writing and desire to effect change, she launched her online platform to tap into her creativity and start meaningful conversations that would make a difference around the world.
Most of her writing has been influenced by her time spent in America, where she lived for about 11 years. Also, she has lived in Nigeria and South Korea and currently loves traveling the world while learning about other fascinating cultures. You can find her on all social media platforms with @eviidoghor.