Written by Evi Idoghor
Red flags in a relationship have recently become popular on social media platforms. I'm not sure why it has become so popular overnight, however, this is an interesting topic to discuss because people require this information when it comes to dating.
Many of us have had red flags raised in our minds while dating or in a relationship. When the red flags first appeared, there was a chance that we didn't recognize them for what they were, but in hindsight, we see clearly, and begin to wonder how we became so blinded in the first place. Today, I'm going to share some relationship red flags with you, in the hopes of preventing you from falling prey to the same traps I did.
Some Relationship Red Flags
Lack of communication is, in my opinion, one of the most common red flags that people (particularly women) fail to notice. We invent justifications: he is a brain surgeon, he works for NASA, he is exhausted from his job, his father's great grand godmother has recently passed away, and so on. Who else has told themselves any of these? If a man is unable to engage you in the simplest, yet most fundamental aspects of a relationship, then he is not that into you. That is all there is to it.
Another major issue is when your partner or potential partner becomes easily enraged or triggered by even the most insignificant of things. Then they become someone with whom you must exercise caution, use caution in your speech, or walk on eggshells whenever you are in close proximity. If they don't get the help they need and make changes, the situation will only worsen. One of the most important things in a relationship is to feel free and comfortable enough to make mistakes without worrying about being on the receiving end of someone's rage. If they are not ready to let go of that trait, you should move on.
Thirdly, a red flag that should be avoided at all costs is isolation. The year 2020 has passed, and no one should be attempting to isolate you from the rest of the world. A disaster is on the horizon if your partner frowns at you when you spend time with others. If they want you all to themselves, that's not romantic; it's downright creepy. People who are in healthy relationships are encouraged to be themselves and to have lives outside of the relationship itself. If your identity is entwined with who they are and what they do, that is, if you do not have a life apart from them, then it is time for you to let them go and devote your time and energy to other pursuits. Even God encourages us to have relationships with others.
The fourth point I am going to raise is on the issue of a partner constantly putting you down. As a result, you lose your sense of self-worth as an individual. If they make you feel inferior—if you believe you are incapable of doing anything correctly and therefore require their assistance, you are in a toxic relationship. Their goal is for you to regard them as God and Savior, which, as Christians, is what you already have (you can’t have two captains of the same ship). Such a person is not interested in what is best for you. He or she requires your entire existence in order to feel better about themselves. They are insecure individuals in need of a savior. You need a partner who will help you to grow and who will encourage and support you.
Lastly, if you are the only one putting in all the effort, making all the sacrifices for the sake of the relationship, you will find yourself in that same position for a very long time, becoming exhausted. Which often leads to resentment. That is not something you want.
How to Deal with Red Flags
Every relationship problem can be solved with good old-fashioned communication. If you are experiencing one or more of the above-mentioned red flags, talk to your partner about it and let them know how you truly feel. Don't be scared. The worst-case scenario is that you lose the relationship, and the best-case scenario is that they choose to work on themselves. In either case, you'll be fine. When I was dating, one of the things I failed to do was express myself. I was too afraid to speak up. As a result, I was trampled and taken for granted. When two people are willing to have open and honest conversations with each other without fear of the outcome, a healthy relationship develops.
What are some of the red flags you have experienced? Leave your comments below so we can discuss it. Remember to like, share, click the subscribe button at the top to subscribe, and never to miss an update on Let’s Talk Nation Blog.
Don’t stop here: click this link and explore all our relationship segment has to offer.
Images used in this article are courtesy of Unsplash