Written by Evi Idoghor
You are a single woman who just finally met what could be the man-of-your-dreams, but there is a caveat—he lives on the other side of the planet. That sucks right? However, before you toss him or the idea of ever been in a relationship with him, what if your try dating long-distance?
Especially with the current pandemic, the amount of time you spend physically with someone is limited, due to restrictions put in place to curb the spread of the virus by authorities. As such, people have had to find creative ways to engage their significant other, for their romance not to dwindle—so you actually have nothing to lose (people are employing long-distance dating practices anyway).
With Valentine’s Day quickly approaching, I think there is no better time to talk about long-distance relationships and their benefits. I have always been the person who frowned at the idea of distant relationships because I enjoy the perks of being able to hop in my car and drive down to my partner’s place whenever I feel like it. However, over the past few years, I began to see the lasting benefits long-distance relationships provide if you keep the right perspective (especially for Christians).
Here she goes again, talking about Christianity in relationships (haha); if you haven’t noticed, this is a Christian platform and most of the topics we discuss here are from a Christian’s standpoint so we can enable people (women) to live out their God-given purpose with as much clarity as possible. Relationships affect every aspect of our lives, and if done wrongly can be quite detrimental. That is why we are passionate about it and take it very seriously, so people can live well-rounded lives.
Back to the topic at hand—long-distance relationships.
For Christians, there are many benefits to dating long-distance. Since we have been called to live pure/holy lives, less contact with those we are romantically involved with will reduce the chances of sexual sin occurring.
I was involved in a situationship with a young man who lived in a different country for a little bit over a year. We were immensely attracted to each other, and I will be 100% honest with you, if he had been in the same country as me, I would have had sex with him, especially because he wasn’t a Christian and as such, didn’t have boundaries when it came to sex.
But, because of the physical boundary between us, sex never happened. And by the time I was ready to make a trip to the country where he resided, we were no longer in communication and my eyes had cleared. So, not being in the same city, state or country, can help curb your appetite for sex (outside marriage). Although it helps if both parties know why they are abstaining to begin with, that way even if you happen to see each other, you wouldn’t sin. Still I would say—distance helps a whole lot.
The second essential point I would like to make is that being in a long-distance relationship helps you build intimacy through good ole’ communication. When you are dating long-distance, communication is the only thing you both have. Keeping abreast with what is happening in your lives helps bring both parties closer together. You have long hours learning about each other, knowing where you come from, what drives you, what motivates you and what gives you your zest for life. Having deep conversations closely knits hearts together—I know it does for me.
So, rather than crying over how you haven’t seen your lover in months; prioritize your time and make it work for you. Write down the things that you would like to talk about. Read books and discuss them, note Bible passages, and ask questions about them. Share your heart's desires with each other and grow in deeply discovering who you both are. If you have this sorted out, there is no separating you two. The world around you wouldn’t matter when you are honed in on each other (in a healthy way that is!)
Someone shared that her budding relationship couldn’t handle the start of the pandemic as they were not going to have the chance (physically) to spend with each other. My reaction was—girl are you out of your mind? What happened to endless conversations over Facetime, Skype, or Whatsapp video?
That is like saying your business/career stood no chance of surviving the pandemic. Don’t get me wrong, I know the pandemic affected countless businesses, however, most people found innovative ways to keep their businesses moving—that is the beauty of humanity. You have to discover ways to make things work for you.
The next crucial point I would like to make on this topic is the value of quality time. Ask those involved in long-distance relationships and they will be quick to tell you just how important that time they get to see each other is. They don’t spend it fighting, nitpicking what someone did or didn’t do, rather they cherish it and bask in its value. They know that they have limited time together, so they ensure that each waking moment counts.
Unlike those who get to see each other every other day, there is just something special about that time long-distance couples spend physically with each other. Because of the distance, they are quick to get rid of things that don’t matter and focus on what does.
The final point I am going to make is the opportunity to build trust. Trust is one of the crucial elements in relationships, and if you and your long-distance partner can build that trust being long distance, then your relationship has a greater chance of being successful. Because if you can trust a person you are not around all the time, then you can trust them in the long-haul.
So, if you keep the right perspective, you will be able to build a long-lasting relationship with your partner (even if it is long-distance) as long as you both are committed, consistent, trustworthy, and true to yourselves.
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