Written by Evi Idoghor
I awoke startled on Saturday morning. “What is it?” Fisayo asked, I waited a few seconds to catch my breath, and then replied, “nothing.” He turned around and went back to sleep, while I lay awake staring at the ceiling, mulling over my dream. Fisayo was in a relationship with another female in the dream. This was not his usual frolicking; he seemed to adore her. When I found out and asked him to let go of the girl, he refused. I begged him, and he said he wanted to be with her.
Things were going well for Fisayo and me until I was afflicted with that dream. I couldn't simply brush it off because the dream weighed heavily on my chest. Its disconnection from our reality worried me because I believe the Holy Spirit does not lie. I am a dreamer, and while not all of my dreams come true, God does occasionally reveal things to me through dreams. There have been some difficult things that I have dreamt about that have come true, as well as some hopeful things that have come true. This was one of the difficult things I hoped would never see the light of day.
So, I pushed it aside. I'm going to enjoy my relationship rather than end it because of a dream. After a few days, Eileen came over to my apartment. We were discussing something else when she abruptly changed the subject and asked, “is everything okay between you and Fisayo?” Alarmed by where that came from, I replied, “yes, why?”
“I had a dream.” My heart jumped. “I had a dream that he was cheating on you.” I did not reveal to Eileen that just a few days ago, I was plagued by the same dream, like Mary the mother of Jesus, I just pondered what the dreams could mean in my heart. “We are actually doing well,” I said. “Okay, I just wanted to let you know.”
I confronted Fisayo with the dreams. He asked me for the details of the dreams, and I told him. “Did I really not want to leave the other girl?” He asked, “yes Oh! It was as if you wanted to marry her!” He laughed, “really?” “Yes!” I said. “Well, I am not cheating on you, I will never do that.” One day, he came over to my apartment. I was happy to see him, but his facial expression said otherwise.
He was still standing when he asked, “how many men have you been with?” My countenance changed, “if you like, lie about it!” What was this about again? I thought. “Fisayo, I have told you about the people I dated in the past, where is this coming from?”
“You have been with about seven or eight people, right?” I was confused, seven or eight people ke? Where did I see those number of men to date? Yet, they say men are lacking in the world. “Fisayo, I don’t know where you got those numbers from, but I have told you the people I have been with in the past.”
“If I find out you are lying, this relationship is over!” He let it go for a few hours after seeing that I wasn't alarmed by his threats before asking again. When I pressed him on where he was getting such information about me, he mentioned a guy's name, one of Lola's friends. That wasn't the first time Fisayo accused me of something I had no idea about. He was bringing up all sorts of things, including personal information I had shared with some friends. My hands trembled, and I began to live in fear. I thought, someone is assassinating my character, and I feel attacked. The only time I felt at ease was when I went to church. My anxiety attacks began as soon as I stepped outside the church building.
One day after church, I promised Lola that we would watch Nigerian movies at my apartment. A few hours later, I wasn’t feeling up to it. All the things Fisayo was accusing me of weighed heavily on my heart. I shared them with Ada, and she encouraged me to pray about it. Then she said, “let’s go to the movies, tell Lola that you are going to hang out with your boyfriend.” I did just that, and I had an amazing evening with Ada.
That night, after I returned home, I decided to pray – God, I feel attacked, I feel like there are people after me. I am living in fear. Please free me from everything controlling me, put an end to the enemy’s plot. Rid everything that is coming against me of their powers, reveal everything that needs to be revealed, and set me free from control.
I began spending a lot of time in prayer, and around that time, I noticed Lola had grown distant from me. In fact, she collected her apartment keys, and when my brother came to visit, she made numerous excuses for why she couldn't see him, even though he wanted to see her. She would rush home after church and was no longer interested in hanging out with the girls. Because I was preoccupied with Fisayo and his problems at the time, I told myself that she was probably going through something. As such, I did not contact her to find out what was wrong.
I also had a spiritual impression around that time. I am not one of those who claim to have heard God's audible voice; however, when I am asleep, I sometimes hear words in my heart. It could be a bible verse I'd never heard before, or it could be a revelation of some sort. There was a time I heard – the steps of a good man are ordered by God. I jotted it down, and it came to mind every now and then. A few weeks later, I was sitting in a bible study group where our leader had announced that she had received a word from God for everyone. She'd already written them on paper with our names on it.
Mine said, "Your steps are ordered by God," when she handed it to me. I was completely taken aback. I rarely share what I hear with others, and I wasn't even friendly with the leader at the time, so she couldn't have known. So, after a few days of praying, I finally had an impression on my spirit, and it said – there are many arrows directed at you, but they will not prosper. Something along those lines.
One of our friends was getting married in Lafayette around the end of August 2014. I was excited about the wedding and chose outfits for myself and Fisayo. We arrived at the venue and greeted everyone. The entire African community, young and old, was present, except for Lola. When I asked another of our friends where Lola was, she said she wasn't coming because she wasn't feeling well. "That's sad," I said, "I expected everyone to be here."
My friends and I sat close together, and I recall dancing the night away. It was a lot of fun. I had a good time with Fisayo, just like the first time we met five months ago. We sat down to rest for a few moments. Ada sat to my right, and Fisayo to my left. While I spoke with Ada, Fisayo was chatting on his phone. After a while, I received a text from Lola. When I opened it, it said, “ask Fisayo where your iPad is and also about the STD.”
I was taken aback; how did Lola learn about the STD? I only told Stacey and Ada about it, so how did she find out? Did they inform her? Or was it Fisayo who spilled the beans? Why would he do that after breaking up with me because I told Stacey?
I tapped Fisayo on the shoulder and showed him the text. “What is she on about?” he asked irritated. “I don’t know, you tell me.” “I don’t know what she is talking about, let’s enjoy the wedding, and deal with this later.” He then took my phone and messaged Lola. Lola then texted all the girls at my table to tell me to collect my phone from Fisayo. At that point, I became concerned. When I got my phone back, I texted her to find out what was going on. “Shey you know you can tell me anything.”
She said, “if I told you what I knew, you wouldn’t believe, so, enjoy your relationship.” I began thinking, did she see Fisayo with another woman? Is she trying to tell me that Fisayo is a cheat? I mean, Lola always looked out for me. She detested the fact that I dated the type of men I did, who didn’t treat me well. I remember her telling me to breakup with my college boyfriend, and I did so, only to regret it later.
I then showed the message to Ada, “if Lola wants to tell me anything, she should just come out plain and tell me.” Just then, Fisayo told me that he needed to go and sort something out and he would be back. After some time, I received another text from Lola saying, “why is your man knocking on my door? Tell him to leave me alone.” I stood up and walked out of the hall. I thought, she definitely caught him cheating, as I dialled his number. “Fisayo, what are you doing at Lola’s house? Come back and pick me up.” I hung up the phone and sighed – this relationship don tire me. Is it a crime to choose to love someone?
Catch up with previous parts below:
Twists and Thorns is a retelling of my first short story series published on this platform five years ago. On the 5th anniversary of this blog, I have decided to bring back story telling. Two parts will be published weekly in keeping with the video story series I will publish on Instagram. Buckle up, its going to be a great ride! I hope you enjoy this series.
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